Action, Adventure, Excitement, Part 8 Chapter 2 Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Tue, 05 Feb 2002 01:45:49 -0800 Harlock - Bard Extraordinaire Said As CAoL Message # 00010754 >On Mon, 04 Feb 2002 19:31:26 -0800 >Roland X Said As CAoL Message # 00010747 > >>On Mon, 04 Feb 2002 02:16:56 -0800 >>Harlock Said As CAoL Message # 00010740 >> >>As did Harlock. Seeing the distance to the ground, he started >>frantically rummaging through his pouches, muttering "feather fall, >>feather fall, I know there's a ring of feather fall in here >>somewhere" and absent-mindedly (?!) leaving a trail of detritus >>behind him as he fell. "Aha!" he exclaimed in triumph just as >>*splat!* the platform caught up to him. > > _Through_ the metal, Roland turns and looks at him. "Gruesome, >ain't it?" he comments dryly between groans... Harlock looks back. "Aye, the lump on my head grew some, but what does that have to do with anything?" >>Harlock, being already somewhat of a wolf, went into an all-out wild >>take: his head turned into that of a wolf, he whistled, his heart >>started beating out of his rib-cage, his eyes popped out of their >>sockets and rolled around on the floor, and his tongue unrolled to a >>length of ten feet. >> >> > > (OOC-R: Well, since you asked... 8^) > Roland looked at this reaction askance, turning slightly greener. >"Morgan, would you hand me that frying pan for a moment, please?" >When his _WIFE_ *ahem* handed him the pan... > *WHANGGGG!* The Bard's first woozy comment is "see, it grew some more!" Then, with a head-shaking unboggle, he asks what a cartoon is. ================================= Subject: Re:AAE8: Tooning In On Tue, 5 Feb 2002 10:35:51 -0500 Mike Knight Said As CAoL Message # 00010758 >On Sun, 03 Feb 2002 23:11:50 -0800 >Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010738 > > Alas, nearly all toon males turn part wolf at the sight of a >gorgeous woman (doubly so with Tex Avery redheads), and he was >smiling in a rather predatory manner. "Rrrroww," he said >emphatically. Then Morgan pulled a frying pan out from under the >pillow, and *whanged* him with it. He shook his head afterwards, and >other than the foot-tall lump on his head, he was back to normal. >"Sorry, love. Back to business." He looked around the landscape as >the rest of the CAoL came to rest...er...wherever they had landed. Passing through into the Tooniverse, David's body is instantly that of a grey squirrel in grey pants and a grey leather jacket. Keri-Ohki comes into being beside him as a small, tan rabbit girl with big, brown eyes in a pink dress. Keri-Ohki's instantly saved a painful landing thanks to her billowing skirt. David only has time to say, "Hey, look, the Grey Squirrel Lensman," before smacking into the red pavement and turning flat as a pancake. As he peels himself off the pavement, he said, "I knew I should have invested in air brakes." As Keri-Ohki comes drifting down, David catchs her gently. She meows concernedly, to which he shakes his head, "No, I'm fine. Serves me right for dropping in unannounced." The squirrel did a doubletake, eyes bulging to five times their normal size, looking at his 'Red-Hot Relative', before Keri-Ohki withdrew a bucket of water from somewhere and dumped it over his head with a scolding meow. "Thanks," he muttered, eyes back to normal, "That just felt weird on every level possible." > A strange "dooka-dooka-dooka-DOOKA" sound echoed around them, and >the green vulture-headed Martian warriors parted to let whatever was >making the sound pass. Soon Marvin, very angry indeed, was staring at >the newcomers. > "My Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator! What have you done >with my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator?" David made a note to keep an eye out for that little firecracker, but right now, the green vultures around himself and Keri-Ohki were closing in and he had a sudden sense of foreboding. "Oh no, not THAT, anything but THAT," he stammered, looking terror-stricken. A bit of hair fell into his eyes and he flicked it out of the way with a hand absently. That small action was all the trigger needed. All the vultures around him gave out a girlish shriek, sprouting 50's sockhop attire, hearts beating visibly out of their chests as their eyes grew big lashes. David grabbed Keri-Ohki's wrist and ran, the rabbit girl streaming behind him like a flag as about a million vultures ran after him like teenaged girls after a rock star. "RASSAFRASSIN TENCHI!" David was heard to shout. David and Keri-Ohki ran down a corridor of doorways and looked arounc franticly for a place to hide. Throwing one open, he encountered a Martian giggling like a schoolgirl and puckering up for a kiss. He slammed the door in her face, leaving a dent in it the shape of her head. Bolting to another, he encountered a Martian holding flowers. Slam! A third revealed one with chocolates. Slam! A fourth showed a Martian in a wedding dress as the opening chords of the wedding march sounded. David shrieked in abject terror and bolted as the entire gaggle of girlish Martians came through the door after him. Finally, panic-stricken, he found himself backed against the edge of a large precipace, Keri-Ohki behind his outstretched, protecting arms. A pipe organ placed a funeral dirge rendition of the wedding march as the vultures came ever nearer, their shadows stretching out before them to darken David's features. With a blurr, Keri-Ohki stood in front of David hefting a baseball bat, her expression one of the blackest anger. She leapt at the crowd of martians. What she actually did was left off camera, but from the sounds of shrieks, screams, rending metal, general abuse, glass shattering, and various and sundry noises, not to mention the (almost) sympathetic look on David's face as he watched. The violence ended suddenly, as Keri-Ohki walked over to David, tossing aside a nigh broken, only hanging together by a slim strip of wood which was dangerously close to breaking, baseball bat and smacked the dust from her hands before taking David's arm. "Meow!" she hmphed back at the demolished set and broken characters behind her. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Tue, 5 Feb 2002 07:43:34 -0800 "The Lizard of Oz" Said As CAoL Message # 00010759 >On Mon, 04 Feb 2002 21:06:29 -0800 >Roland X Said As CAoL Message # 00010751 > > Unfortunately, this is finally too much for the badly battered >platform, and it begins to list heavily to Earth-ward... > Bugs looks around, his amusement slowly evaporating. "Eh, doc," he >says to the nearest Callahanian, as he looks around for the nearest >transportation, "dis might be a good time ta get outta town..." Noticing that the Chase has been called off, He takes to the air and zooms over to the group, Taking a Moment to fix in mind the size of the Group, He sticks his Right Thumb out... "TAXI!" A Checkered Cab Rocket pulls up... "Say Mr. Bunny, could we offer you a Lift?" ================================= Subject: Re: AAE 8: Tooning Out and Tooning In On Tue, 5 Feb 2002 12:16:41 -0800 Martin and/or Dhyrclhanc Said As CAoL Message # 00010762 Dhyrclhanc causually entered the Phoenix-Greywolf Household, through the back door, having already transmogrified himself into his "Winged-Psuedo-T'Skrang form" outside. Anyone who had the chance to look out a rear-window will notice that what looks like a melted plastic arrow-head reads "Delta Flyer Beta" accross it's bow. ... and which was introduced in my reply posts to Mike's "Galoping Towards a Conclusion..." -- which I haven't written yet The Ruby Fire Hatchling was about to say "I brough a 'bus' so we could make sure everyone stays together." but at the exact same time that the words were forming in his mind, Roland and Rio were doing their thing with the TV in the Living Room and Dhyrclhanc gets sucked into the Warner-Verse along with the rest of the CAoLers. ------ Everyone's favorite Lensdragon plummets through the Martian atmosphere, having been transformed into a human-sized Mushu (from Disney's "Mulan") and as he falls past Roland, he looks up at the Freelance Immortal as he passes by and says, in a voice that's a cross between Eddie Murphy and Keith David, "This is another fine mess you've gotten us into!" As he continues falling, he passes by the Duck Doggers Rocketship with Daffy and Porky currently aboard. "Gee," says Daffy, looking out a porthole, "I wonder if he'll remember that he can fly?" "Hey, that's right, I _can_ fly." says the immortal adolecent Lensdragon hatchling, sounding like Sylvester, as he spreads his wings out and makes a Dhyrclhanc-shaped bulge in the bottom of Marvin's Observation Platform as he belly-flops into it. "Na-na-na-na-na-Nope" adds Porky. Dhyrclhanc lifts himself up and somehow the DC-shaped bulge in the platform dissapears rendering him flat as a pancake. Seemingly oblivious to this, Dhyrclhanc looks around and then down at himself, does a take -- his eyes bulging out of his head -- and then re-inflates himself by doing the old blowing into his thumb schtick. "I just knew there was a reason that I avoided coming to the Toon-iverse". Later -- after much havoc and mayhem has ensued -- as all of the CAoL, and one little gray hare, are piling into the Taxi, Dhyrclhanc takes a carrot out of his cigar-case, which he pulls out of his back-pocket (of course), offers it to Buggs and asks him if he saw where the Wonder Twins went. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Tue, 5 Feb 2002 10:36:06 -0800 (PST) Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010763 >"The Lizard of Oz" Said As CAoL Message # 00010759 > >>Roland X Said As CAoL Message # 00010751 >> >> Bugs looks around, his amusement slowly evaporating. "Eh, doc," >>he says to the nearest Callahanian, as he looks around for the >>nearest transportation, "dis might be a good time ta get outta >>town..." > >Noticing that the Chase has been called off, > He takes to the air and zooms over to the group, > Taking a Moment to fix in mind the size of the Group, > He sticks his Right Thumb out... > >"TAXI!" > >A Checkered Cab Rocket pulls up... > >"Say Mr. Bunny, could we offer you a Lift?" Rob has been busily trying to make sense of his jacket, and finally concluded that it has adapted to the tooniverse by becoming a Jacket of Stuff when the taxi arrives. As the CAoL piles in, he realizes what else has happened in the transition. +-------------------+ | Does anybody know | | how to restore my | | voice? Using sign | | language is fine, | | but it feels odd. | +-------------------+ | | | | |_| ================================= Subject: AAE8: Tooning up Rob N On Tue, 5 Feb 2002 11:45:02 -0800 "The Lizard of Oz" Said As CAoL Message # 00010764 >On Tue, 5 Feb 2002 10:36:06 -0800 (PST) >Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010763 > > +-------------------+ > | Does anybody know | > | how to restore my | > | voice? Using sign | > | language is fine, | > | but it feels odd. | > +-------------------+ > | | > | | > |_| "I have a Method that May work, Here Hold this..." The Lizard hands Rob the Explosive Space Modulator... "Hold that in Both hands, and Concentrate on Yelling..." As Soon as Rob is fully engaged in this exercise... The Lizard whips out a Large Wooden Mallet, And Hits him Solidly on the Left Knee... The Explosive Space Modulator is Thrown out of the Taxi, To be caught by Marvin Just before the Platform falls on him, It should detonate just as he digs his way out in Triumph. ;) ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Tue, 05 Feb 2002 14:41:05 -0800 Dane Said As CAoL Message # 00010765 >SkyeFire Said As CAoL Message # 00010743 > >"I can only conclude," one of the Rogers intones gravely _en_route_, >"that I am paying off Karma at a *vastly* accellerated rate..." Aurora smiles, and responds with /*"Are you certain the problem is the payment rate rather than the interest rate."*/ ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Tue, 05 Feb 2002 18:03:46 -0800 Dane Said As CAoL Message # 00010766 >Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010737 > > The resulting vortex was massively powerful, but under other >circumstances this would have been a minor obstacle for any CAoL >member. Alas, the laws of physics had been vetoed by the Toon >Continuum. The entire group present went flying into the TV, Roland >and Morgan yanked in (head)first... As the Toon Continuum attempts to assert its forces over her, Aurora asserts HER power. Not preventing the Tooniverse from pulling her, or the CAoL in, but preventing it from altering HER in any way on the way in. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Tue, 05 Feb 2002 18:26:29 -0800 Dane Said As CAoL Message # 00010767 >Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010738 > > A strange "dooka-dooka-dooka-DOOKA" sound echoed around them, and >the green vulture-headed Martian warriors parted to let whatever was >making the sound pass. Soon Marvin, very angry indeed, was staring at >the newcomers. > "My Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator! What have you done >with my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator?" Arriving in mid air, Aurora "stands" there looking about. Noticing the zillion martians she puts one hand to her forehead while shaking her head. /*"Here we go again."*/ She says with a sigh. Stretching forth her other hand, fully half of the martians MELT into puddles of goo. Ordinarily that would be that, but this IS the Tooniverse. The puddles begin running together forming into a GIANT martian, the size of half a zillion martians. /*"OH, FARDLES! I was afraid that might happen."*/ With that she creates a set of hair clippers (OOC: they may LOOK like vultures, but they seem to be covered with HAIR not feathers). The giant martian takes step towards Aurora, then one look at the clippers, and takes off running while (almost) screaming its head off. The clippers of course give chase, and when "they" catch up to the martian a cloud of flying clipped hair is created. When the clippers stop, what is left, is a three inch tall martian, standing on top of a literal mountain of hair. With the clippers still buzzing inches from it, the martian takes off running for the horizon again. This time it makes it. /*"Anyone ELSE want a piece of ME?"*/ She asks as she floats to the ground? ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning up Rob N On Tue, 5 Feb 2002 22:17:00 -0800 (PST) Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010768 >"The Lizard of Oz" Said As CAoL Message # 00010764 > >The Lizard hands Rob the Explosive Space Modulator... > >"Hold that in Both hands, and > Concentrate on Yelling..." [I wonder how the Space Modulator is going to help...] >As Soon as Rob is fully engaged in this exercise... > >The Lizard whips out a Large Wooden Mallet, > And Hits him Solidly on the Left Knee... *CRACK* +-----+ | OW! | +-----+ | | |_| >The Explosive Space Modulator is Thrown out of the Taxi, > To be caught by Marvin Just before the Platform falls on him, > It should detonate just as he digs his way out in Triumph. ;) "Well, that didn't seem to wor--" Rob pauses. "Hey, I can talk again!" +------------------+ | That's a relief. | | I don't like the | | thought of using | | signs all the-?! | +------------------+ | | | | |__| "I seem to be wavering between states," Rob concludes. "No, this is fine," he adds as the Lizard raises the hammer again. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning up Rob N On Tue, 5 Feb 2002 23:22:05 -0800 "The Lizard of Oz" Said As CAoL Message # 00010769 >On Tue, 5 Feb 2002 22:17:00 -0800 (PST) >Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010768 > >"I seem to be wavering between states," Rob concludes. "No, this is >fine," he adds as the Lizard raises the hammer again. "A Key Point, To Maintaining this for now is, Try to take hold of something before speaking, If your hands are to Busy to Sign, You will be audible, However, If you forget too many time in a row, We may have to start over..." The Lizard puts his Hammer away. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Tue, 05 Feb 2002 23:44:33 -0800 Roland X Said As CAoL Message # 00010770 >On Tue, 05 Feb 2002 01:45:49 -0800 >Harlock Said As CAoL Message # 00010754 > >The Bard's first woozy comment is "see, it grew some more!" Then, >with a head-shaking unboggle, he asks what a cartoon is. There's a sudden flash of light. Roland is now wearing thick glasses, a tweed suit, and a smug expression. A pipe has been stuck in his mouth, and stereotypical 50s "school music" is playing in the background. A projector is next to him, and a screen is behind him. "THE...cartoon," he begins in a Ben-Stein-by-way-of-William-Shatner typical 50s announcer voice. "One of the more amazing, albeit whimsical, creations of the 20th century." He flips the switch on the projector. (And when that doesn't work, he pulls out a mallet as big as he is and smacks the thing.) The projector *ka-chunks* and whirrs to life, spitting light onto the screen. In fact, it actually starts with a spitting sound. "As you may know, a film is actually nothing more than a series of photographs shown in rapid succession. Shortly after Thomas Edison built his first camera, clever artists began drawing sight gags in rapid succession, thus creating the illusion of motion. Of course, all film is the illusion of motion--" A shadow formed over Roland, who looked above himself nervously. A gigantic bare foot (with nothing else attached) had appeared over him, with the words "GET ON WITH IT!" written on the bottom. *ahem* "Anyway, while many interesting characters were created prior to 1928, most notably Gertie the Dinosaur and Felix the Cat, it was one little mouse that really got things going, by whistling a little tune while piloting a steamboat. For nearly twelve years, he and his friends dominated animation with cute animals and clever songs." Clips from these short films, and one feature-length film from 1937 (about some babe and seven short dudes), appear on the screen. Then a large hook appears from "off-screen" and yanks Roland away suddenly, leaving his glasses and pipe spinning in mid-air. He suddenly reappears in a "Looney Tunes" T-shirt and jeans from the other side of the frame from where he'd been yanked away. "Then ol' long ears over there showed up, and things have been hopping, bopping, and anvil-dropping ever since," he quips, gesturing to Bugs. "Aw shucks, Doc, ya shouldn't make such a fuss over little ol' _me,_" Bugs says, in all (overblown) modesty as he sort of scrunches up and tries to look humble. Roland then spins in place, and ends up with long white hair and a dinner jacket. A very thin wand is in one hand. He taps empty air (yet somehow makes a tapping sound), and begins to wave it around madly. As orchestral music begins to play, regular "beats" are punctuated by anvils landing on Martians with loud "clang!"s. "In the sort of cartoon we're in now," he adds conversationally, waving the baton more emphatically than ever as Martians begin to look for cover (to no avail; the anvils are better than Patriot missiles 8^), "the laws of physics are out to lunch. 'Cause and effect' is somewhat reversed; effects happen 'cause they're funny!" "Anything you say can and _will_ be used against you, if it'll get a laugh," Morgan sums up nicely. Now in full 'toon mode, Roland makes one final transformation, becoming his ebon-feathered idol. Fortunately for the CAoL, this "little black duck" is Roland's preferred variation, the Clampett-esque 40s "Einstein of cartoon physics" rather than Jones' more famous 50s "lovable loser." (OOC: Yes, I _did_ rattle off that entire Daffy description, complete with directors' names, off the top of my head. I did have to look up the pre-Steamboat era, though.) "Oh look, it's the Egyptian God of Frustration," Morgan says dryly but fondly. "Nah, that'th my kid brother from the 50'th. Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!" Daffy-Roland expounds, bouncing wildly all over the landscape (and in mid-space, in some cases 8^). Naturally, he lands smack in the middle of a (large fraction of) a zillion Martians. He turns into one gigantic eyeball, vanishes in a puff of smoke, and reforms from the ground, appropriately enough, phoenix-like (except for the fire part). Still in Daffy mode, he yelps, leaps into the air, and "zips" away, followed by many, many "zips" of Martians. Daffy/R stops on one edge of a long walkway; the Martians stop lined up for quite a distance facing him. The problem is, the walkway Daffy/R stopped on is _perpendicular_ to the one he (and the Martians) took off from; the green, vulture-headed lackeys are hanging in mid-space. The moment Daffy/R smiles smugly and points down, however, they all do the "bulging eyes" take (eyes going lower than their feet for a moment). Then all (fraction of a) zillion of them fall. "'Obviouthly, I am dealing with inferior mentalitieth,'" Daffy/R quips, quoting the original. He then "zips" back to the projector. "And tho, in concluthion...LET'TH GET LOONEY! Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!" And proceeds to "zip" again...straight into a Martian teleporter. The side, alas, not the actual entrance. When he shakes himself out, he's back to, well, as close to normal as one gets in a tooniverse, being a vaguely feline cartoon version of his "usual" self. "Th-th, th-th, th-that's all, folks," he stammers as he sinks to his knees, stars spinning around his head. "What can I say," Morgan says in a very Kathleen Turner voice, "he makes me laugh." ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning up Rob N On Wed, 6 Feb 2002 00:09:24 -0800 (PST) Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010771 >On Tue, 5 Feb 2002 23:22:05 -0800 >"The Lizard of Oz" Said As CAoL Message # 00010769 > >>On Tue, 5 Feb 2002 22:17:00 -0800 (PST) >>Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010768 >> >>"I seem to be wavering between states," Rob concludes. "No, this is >>fine," he adds as the Lizard raises the hammer again. > >"A Key Point, > To Maintaining this for now is, > Try to take hold of something before speaking, > If your hands are to Busy to Sign, > You will be audible, > However, > If you forget too many time in a row, > We may have to start over..." > >The Lizard puts his Hammer away. Rob reaches into his pocket, pulls out a Rubik's - er, tesseract, and begins fiddling with it. "So what you're saying is, I should get a grip before I try to say anything." "I can handle that." ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Wed, 06 Feb 2002 00:43:42 -0800 Harlock - Bard Extraordinaire Said As CAoL Message # 00010772 >On Tue, 05 Feb 2002 23:44:33 -0800 >Roland X Said As CAoL Message # 00010770 > > As orchestral music begins to play, regular "beats" are punctuated >by anvils landing on Martians with loud "clang!"s. "The Anvil Chorus," presumably... > "In the sort of cartoon we're in now," he adds conversationally, >waving the baton more emphatically than ever as Martians begin to >look for cover (to no avail; the anvils are better than Patriot >missiles 8^), And your point is? A five-year-old with a slingshot is better than Patriot missiles. >"the laws of physics are out to lunch. 'Cause and effect' is somewhat >reversed; effects happen 'cause they're funny!" "Oh. Dear. So that trick with the drums only worked because it was funny? Presumably, then, things get less funny--and therefore less effective--with repetition? Oh. Dear." >"What can I say," Morgan says in a very Kathleen Turner voice, "he >makes me laugh." Thank you, Jessica, I've had enough wild takes for one day. ;P ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning up Rob N On Wed, 6 Feb 2002 06:15:50 -0800 "The Lizard of Oz" Said As CAoL Message # 00010773 >On Wed, 6 Feb 2002 00:09:24 -0800 (PST) >Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010771 > >Rob reaches into his pocket, pulls out a Rubik's - er, tesseract, and >begins fiddling with it. "So what you're saying is, I should get a >grip before I try to say anything." "Yes, You Might Say, One should always have a Firm Grip on One's Thoughts, Before Speaking." ;) >"I can handle that." Good. :) "Now Mr. Bunny, Where can we let you out?" ================================= Subject: AAE8: Mistaken Identity On Wed, 6 Feb 2002 20:08:52 -0800 Fuzzy and/or Nemisis Said As CAoL Message # 00010776 Fuzzy having considered what little data he has so far, Decided to try other Hostile Martian Threads... Opening a Gate to a Realm, Defined as home of the Most Hostile Martians, And the Most Helpless Earth... Fuzzy Steps Through to the Surface of Mars. His Life Support Field Activates on Arrival, [Well this is definitely Not an Ink and Paint Realm...] @If you do not Cease Pounding on My Shields, I Shall be forced to Chastize you!@ The Mental assault which had Begun moments after his arrival, Noticably increases in Intensity. Fuzzy Scans for the Twins, Nope Not here... @Fine Youv'e been asking for it.@ @{Probe}@ @Ok so that is your currently most vital Tool.@ [I wonder what's with the Red over Black Uniform... And Why does every one wear a Unique Color.] [Well it does not matter to me.] Targeting the man in the Red and Black uniform, Lord Fuzzy Erases the Martian imperatives, Restoring the Original Mind. And Gives it a Quick class in Mental Defenses... There Deal with That. For your reference I have left, The Additional Abilities you created Intact.@ Fuzzy Gates out to the Next match on his search Protocol. ================================= Subject: AAE8: Fine Tooning On Thu, 07 Feb 2002 01:25:34 -0800 Harlock - Bard Extraordinaire Said As CAoL Message # 00010777 As everybody piles into the rocket cab, a lightbulb appears over Harlock's head. The Bard stares at it, confused, until it vanishes, his train of thought derailed. Rob watches the fading idea with concern, and sticks his hands in his pockets, coming up with a fine chain connected to a clip. After attaching the clip to the bard's earlobe, he gently pulls the chain, and the lightbulb clicks on again. "Harlock, what were you thinking about?" [I hope he doesn't think I'm yanking his chain.] "Ah, yes. Given that the twins entered the tooniverse to save the Earth 'just like momandpop,' I'm wondering if there are other aspects of the tooniverse in which the Earth is threatened. Perhaps we can find some leads there." ================================= Subject: Re: AAE 8: Tooning Out and Tooning In On Thu, 07 Feb 2002 22:35:58 -0800 Roland X Said As CAoL Message # 00010778 >On Tue, 5 Feb 2002 12:16:41 -0800 >Dhyrclhanc Said As CAoL Message # 00010762 > >Everyone's favorite Lensdragon plummets through the Martian >atmosphere, having been transformed into a human-sized Mushu (from >Disney's "Mulan") and as he falls past Roland, he looks up at the >Freelance Immortal as he passes by and says, in a voice that's a >cross between Eddie Murphy and Keith David, > >"This is another fine mess you've gotten us into!" Laurel *cough cough* I mean Roland briefly ends up wearing a black suit and tall bowler hat, which he takes off and sort of oddly scratches his hair by scrunching his fingers together, all while whimpering confusedly. "Don't blame him, _Roger_ was supposed to be watching them," Morgan notes evenly. SCREECH! Roland comes to a dead stop as a rod and reel catches him. He returns to his normal clothes. "Oh yeah, I'm off the hook!" Then he is, and Roland starts falling again. "Whoops. YAAAAAH!" >Seemingly oblivious to this, Dhyrclhanc looks around and then down at >himself, does a take -- his eyes bulging out of his head -- and then >re-inflates himself by doing the old blowing into his thumb schtick. > >"I just knew there was a reason that I avoided coming to the >Toon-iverse". "Yeah, we get into enough looney situations on our own, eh, sib?" Roland comments dryly enough to turn one of the pre-fab Martians back into a pill. (OOC: "Just add water." ;^) >Later -- after much havoc and mayhem has ensued -- as all of the >CAoL, and one little gray hare, are piling into the Taxi, Dhyrclhanc >takes a carrot out of his cigar-case, which he pulls out of his >back-pocket (of course), offers it to Bugs "Eh..." Bugs looks at both taxi and carrot dubiously. "No t'anks, I'll stick to me own brand." >and asks him if he saw where the Wonder Twins went. "Oh, two kids, blue bubbles around 'em, lots 'a blowin' stuff up, dat dem?" Upon getting several various affirmatives ranging from the desperate to the disgusted... "Yeah, dey went dat-a-way," Bugs explains, pointing below towards the 'toon Earth. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Thu, 07 Feb 2002 22:56:45 -0800 Roland X Said As CAoL Message # 00010779 >On Tue, 05 Feb 2002 18:03:46 -0800 >Dane Said As CAoL Message # 00010766 > >As the Toon Continuum attempts to assert its forces over her, Aurora >asserts HER power. Not preventing the Tooniverse from pulling her, or >the CAoL in, but preventing it from altering HER in any way on the >way in. As Aurora enters the Tooniverse, the presence of a...well, "flesh and blood" isn't exactly right, but she sure ain't a toon, either. Anyway, a bit of blank white something can be seen just "behind" Aurora...no matter which direction one looks at her. It's as if the ink and paint don't quite touch her. Then there's a tapping sound from On High, like wood on wood. "No, no, that'll never do," a Voice of Authority booms from every direction. Then a paint brush appears from Beyond Space, held by a hand the size of Marvin's rocket. It swaths Aurora, covering her in paint. Beneath the paint, she's still her, but the covering looks remarkably like Daffy's stint as the polka-dotted platypus-thing in "Duck Amuck," complete with screwball-flag. "Uh-uh," the Voice says in annoyance, and a giant eraser blots the image out. The paint brush flies out again, and Aurora's dressed like (the hen with a crush on Foghorn), though she isn't a hen herself. "EEE-www," the Voice responds disgustedly, and erases that too. The paint brush dips downward one last time. "There, that's better," the Voice says, and both hand and brush vanish. Aurora _seems_ normal enough... Then: >On Tue, 05 Feb 2002 18:26:29 -0800 >Dane Said As CAoL Message # 00010767 > >When the clippers stop, what is left, is a three inch tall martian, >standing on top of a literal mountain of hair. With the clippers >still buzzing inches from it, the martian takes off running for the >horizon again. This time it makes it. /*"Anyone ELSE want a piece of >ME?"*/ She asks as she floats to the ground? As Aurora precedes the group to the 'toon Earth, it suddenly becomes obvious what she _did_ end up with. "I would be hon-oured, mon cherie," an outrageous French accent replies. Attached to the accent is a buff skunk doing quite a bit of eyebrow waggling. The only thing the paint brush left her with, you see, is a long white stripe down her back... (|) Pepe "Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air." --John Quincy Adams ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Thu, 07 Feb 2002 23:38:28 -0800 Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010780 >On Wed, 06 Feb 2002 00:43:42 -0800 >Harlock Said As CAoL Message # 00010772 > >> On Tue, 05 Feb 2002 23:44:33 -0800 >> Roland X Said As CAoL Message # 00010770 >> >> As orchestral music begins to play, regular "beats" are >>punctuated by anvils landing on Martians with loud "clang!"s. > > "The Anvil Chorus," presumably... OOC: THAT'S CORRECT! THAT'S ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! YOU WIN THE 64 DOLLAR QUESTION! (pops cigar in mouth) (OOC 2: Which promptly explodes, of course ;^) >>"the laws of physics are out to lunch. 'Cause and effect' is >>somewhat reversed; effects happen 'cause they're funny!" > >"Oh. Dear. So that trick with the drums only worked because it was >funny? "THAT'S CORRECT! THAT'S ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! YOU WIN THE 64 DOLLAR QUESTION!" Daffy howls, popping a cigar in Harlock's mouth. Which promptly explodes, of course ;^) > Presumably, then, things get less funny--and therefore less >effective--with repetition? Oh. Dear." "Only if repetition makes them less funny," Roland replies, going back to the "professor" voice while the 50s music returns. "Sometimes, the 'running gag' effect can make something funnier, and regardless of the schtick, a certain amount of passing time can 'recharge' it." Then: >On Thu, 07 Feb 2002 01:25:34 -0800 >Harlock Said As CAoL Message # 00010777 > >"Ah, yes. Given that the twins entered the tooniverse to save the >Earth 'just like momandpop,' I'm wondering if there are other aspects >of the tooniverse in which the Earth is threatened. Perhaps we can >find some leads there." "Not a bad idea, but it's been a while since you've been around toddlers, hasn't it?" Morgan smiles. "They have the attention span of tzetze flies. It wouldn't take much to distract them and send them off in an entirely different direction. Still," she muses, "any lead's better than no lead." Roland nods, looking down concernedly as the Earth begins to approach at a high rate of speed. Despite that they haven't reached the atmosphere yet, wind is starting to whistle around them. "Uh-huh, whatever works, everybody into the cab!" He holds the door for his beloved wife, after which the CAoL (by all appearances) quickly piles in, followed by three robots with weird haircuts (a bowl-cut, wild hair, and completely bald (:-) #:-) 0:^), a traveling used-saucer salesman, an entire Martian Shriners convention (and you have to see those hats on those tiny fur-topped antennae to believe it 8^), three elephants on a unicycle, a hitch-hiking beluga whale, and the entire Ringing Bros./Saturn & Traily Circus pile into the cab. (He went into "leader" mode; things don't always refuse to work in the Tooniverse. Sometimes they work _too_ well instead. ;^) "I hope this t'ing gets about a million miles to da gallon; it ain't just across the street," Bugs quips as he takes the wheel. Roland slaps the back of the cab twice rapidly with his palm, and it takes off. He watches his team fly to safety with deep satisfaction in his heart, knowing that he has gotten his friends and family off a Flaming Platform of Doom. Then he looks _down_ at the FPoD. Which he is still on. His head turns into a "sucker." Morgan blinks. /Huuuunny?/ she asks. /"Er...eep!"/ Roland blerts as Marvin woozily gets up (after being trampled by a zillion Martian Shriners). The two look at each other. They look at the rapidly approaching Earth. "mother!" both say weakly, in unison, as the Earth fills their vision and their eyes get reeeeeeal small. They hug each other, terror stricken. *W*H*A*M*!*!*!*!* There's a tiny divot in the ground where the FPoD has turned into a tangled wreck, having landed in The Forest. A field trip from nearby Acme Loo (just visible in the distance) stops to stare in shock as Roland staggers out, clothes charred and face blackened. "It'th a good thing I'm immortal. Otherwithe, that would've hurt," Roland gasps. Then he coughs, a black cloud of smoke issuing from his mouth as he does so. Then, mercifully, he just plain collapses. As the cab makes a fairly decent (only a couple of bounces) landing nearby, Morgan jumps out. "Roland! Are you OK?" she calls, and rushes to her husband. On finding out that he's basically OK, she laughs a bit nervously. "Of course you're OK. You're practically a 'toon in flesh-and-blood universes." She helps him up and dusts him off. "*cough* *gasp* *wheeze*" Roland remarks glibly, recovering as the signs of damage are brushed away. "Thankth. I needed that." He then does a "shake-out," making an "ah-eh-ih/ah-eh-ih/ah-eh-ih" sound _real_ fast, and he's back to not-quite-normal in no time. Immediately, he looks around to survey the situation. In the distance from the Forest, one (or all) can see glorious Acme Looniversity to the north, the Wild West to...well...the west, sand dunes (either The Beach or The Desert, depending on which would be funnier) to the south, and The City to the east. Meanwhile, in The City, Bugs is watching in horror as little green flowers start sprouting up from the sewer. Nearby, a broken "gumball" machine sits, empty, on a grate. He starts to run for it, then heads back for a second and addresses the assembled 'toons, large and small. "Head for the hills, folks, or you'll be up to yer AHM-pits in Martians!" (OOC: "Here we are in Pismo Beach with all the clams that we can eat!" IOW, the Beagle has Landed. Every sort of tooniness is available within spitting distance. Have fun not finding the kids! ;^) ): Since we've got at least one ABEND for a few days, and Roland and I will be celebrating our anniversary this weekend, I think it's time to play without advancing The Plot (such as it is ;-), or, to put it another way, don't post anything that'll require a GM call. Morgan will have a few suggestions on fictons to check out after we've all had our fun with all the various loonacy the Warner-verse has to offer. Remember, the idea here was to get back to AAEs roots, where each person introduced and ran their personal adversaries, so have fun!> ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Fri, 08 Feb 2002 01:26:30 -0800 Harlock - Bard Extraordinaire Said As CAoL Message # 00010781 >On Thu, 07 Feb 2002 23:38:28 -0800 >Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010780 > > OOC: THAT'S CORRECT! THAT'S ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! YOU WIN THE 64 >DOLLAR QUESTION! (pops cigar in mouth) > (OOC 2: Which promptly explodes, of course ;^) (OOC: And how, pray tell, does a chocolate cigar explode? ) (OOC2: It's delicious, BTW.) > "THAT'S CORRECT! THAT'S ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! YOU WIN THE 64 DOLLAR >QUESTION!" Daffy howls, popping a cigar in Harlock's mouth. > Which promptly explodes, of course ;^) "Mammy!" quoth Harlock, then shakes the soot off his face, looking bewildered. [Why did I say that? Ah, well, back to the point...] > "Only if repetition makes them less funny," Roland replies, going >back to the "professor" voice while the 50s music returns. >"Sometimes, the 'running gag' effect can make something funnier, and >regardless of the schtick, a certain amount of passing time can >'recharge' it." The Bard looks cautiously relieved. >Then: >>On Thu, 07 Feb 2002 01:25:34 -0800 >>Harlock Said As CAoL Message # 00010777 >> >>"Ah, yes. Given that the twins entered the tooniverse to save the >>Earth 'just like momandpop,' I'm wondering if there are other >>aspects of the tooniverse in which the Earth is threatened. Perhaps >>we can find some leads there." > >"Not a bad idea, but it's been a while since you've been around >toddlers, hasn't it?" Morgan smiles. "Hmm...Erindrea is 27 now, so at least 20 years, no matter how you define the human 'toddler' stage, aye." >From out of nowhere, a voice pipes up "ah'm 28 now, momma. Mah birthday was last month." Harlock blink-blinks. "That's right, she is. It is. Whatever." >"They have the attention span of tzetze flies. It wouldn't take much >to distract them and send them off in an entirely different >direction. Still," she muses, "any lead's better than no lead." "Good. Shall we continue this conversation on Terra Toona? I would rather not pry myself out of any further Bard-shaped dents if I can avoid it." ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Fine Tooning On Fri, 8 Feb 2002 12:03:43 EST SkyeFire Said As CAoL Message # 00010782 >In a message dated 2/7/02 4:37:20 AM Eastern Standard Time, >harlock writes: >As everybody piles into the rocket cab, a lightbulb appears over >Harlock's head. The Bard stares at it, confused, until it vanishes, >his train of thought derailed. Dead Meat blinks at this, then grins slightly, as: >Rob watches the fading idea with concern, and sticks his hands in his >pockets, coming up with a fine chain connected to a clip. After >attaching the clip to the bard's earlobe, he gently pulls the chain, >and the lightbulb clicks on again. "Harlock, what were you thinking >about?" > >[I hope he doesn't think I'm yanking his chain.] "Pull the other one -- it's got bells on!" Mudd stage-whispers to DM. >"Ah, yes. Given that the twins entered the tooniverse to save the >Earth 'just like momandpop,' I'm wondering if there are other aspects >of the tooniverse in which the Earth is threatened. Perhaps we can >find some leads there." "We can narrow the field a bit more, based on what 'toons the Twins have seen. Akira, of course, is right out, thank the Light. Galaxy Rangers, ExoSquad, and Robotech I don't think they've seen, and I doubt those would count as 'toons anyway -- they're more animated dramas. Mmm...SuperFriends, maybe?" "Ack. Don't even *joke.* And just hope they don't stumble into Dragonball Z." "Uh...Hey, Dad, the twins haven't gotten into your anime collection anytime lately, have they?" ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Fine Tooning On Fri, 08 Feb 2002 09:54:29 -0800 Roland X Said As CAoL Message # 00010783 >On Fri, 8 Feb 2002 12:03:43 EST >SkyeFire Said As CAoL Message # 00010782 > > "Pull the other one -- it's got bells on!" Mudd stage-whispers >to DM. "Have you been visiting your Uncle Seosaidh, Roger?" Roland asks dubiously. > "Uh...Hey, Dad, the twins haven't gotten into your anime >collection anytime lately, have they?" Roland winces, looking chagrined. "I, ah, introduced them to Battle of the Planets recently. I didn't let them near Akira, of course, but I think it whetted their appetites. "And the SuperFriends thing is _your_ fault, calling them the Wonder Twins," he adds defensively. "Just be glad they didn't like Wendy and Marvin." Morgan has been looking thoughtful. "Yes, there is some anime on the list. I've been consulting with the house systems between crises, and I'll have a list of likely places to check soon in case they've already left the Warner-verses." She grins wryly, still worried about her babies. "Compiling how much of what shows two channel-surfers with inter-dimensional reception and short attention spans watch is...a challenge." ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Fri, 8 Feb 2002 13:21:34 -0800 (PST) Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010784 >Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010780 > >As the cab makes a fairly decent (only a couple of bounces) landing >nearby, Morgan jumps out. "Roland! Are you OK?" she calls, and rushes >to her husband. On finding out that he's basically OK, she laughs a >bit nervously. "Of course you're OK. You're practically a 'toon in >flesh-and-blood universes." She helps him up and dusts him off. In the confusion of getting out of the taxi, Rob finds himself being dragged off to the southwest. When the smoke clears, he is standing next to a mesa, with a road stretching off into the distance. +-------------+ | Where in | | the heck.. | +-------------+ | | |_| Shoving both his hands in his pockets, he tries again. "Where in the heck am I?" A blue-and-gold blur abruptly stops in front of the young warrior, resolving into a road-runner. In fact, -the- RoadRunner. +-------------+ | You Are In: | | Southwest | | Tooniverse | | --- | | Beware of | | Coyotes! | +-------------+ | | | | |_| "Thank you very much," Rob replies, fishing in his pockets. In a moment, he comes up with a jar of birdseed, and spills some on the ground. The RoadRunner eats it up in his usual style, then zips off. "At least there's something good about having a Jacket of Stuff. No problem paying for things." /I appear to have been swept off to the southwestern portion of the Tooniverse. I'll try to get to Acme Looniversity./ /We're sorry, your message can not be transmitted as thought. Please check your assumptions and try again./ "Huh? But that's impossible..." Rob smacks his forehead with the heel of his hand. "Unless it's funny. 'Please check your assumptions...'" Looking around, he spots a small piece of wire. Using it to make a shadow, he fiddles with his watch for a moment. "Okay. That way is south, which means I should head -that way-." Conveniently, the road goes exactly that direction. ******* In another dimension, reports are being made. "We have spotted target #236, but--" "No excuses. Target #236 is Robert Nishikawa. Send an assassin to the proper dimension at once." "But sir, he's in a--" "Send An Assassin. I don't care if he's having tea with the Logrus. The Puppeteer wants him dead, and I intend to deliver." "Yes, sir." [Idiot middle manager. We'll see what happens after the assassin returns from the WB Tooniverse and reports failure due to Tooniversal laws.] ================================= Subject: Re: AAE 8: Tooning Out and Tooning In On Fri, 8 Feb 2002 19:09:01 -0500 Mike Knight Said As CAoL Message # 00010785 >On Tue, 5 Feb 2002 12:16:41 -0800 >Martin and/or Dhyrclhanc Said As CAoL Message # 00010762 > >Later -- after much havoc and mayhem has ensued -- as all of the >CAoL, and one little gray hare, are piling into the Taxi, Dhyrclhanc >takes a carrot out of his cigar-case, which he pulls out of his >back-pocket (of course), offers it to Buggs and asks him if he saw >where the Wonder Twins went. Suddenly, David finds himself run over ("...anyone get the number of that truck?...") by a fast-moving cloud of dust that passes between dragon and rabbit before returning back the same direction and running over David again just as he stands up woozily ("...Or that freight train?..."). As he regains his feet the second time, the cigarette case is revealed to be empty as the dust clears. Keri-Ohki, however, is sitting on the ground, surrounded by carrot crumbs and carrot stubs, with a full belly. She belches and says "Meooooow," contentedly. "Oh yes," David says, shaking off that persistant run-down feeling, "For the love of the Maker, do not show, or stand in the way of someone showing, my cabbit carrots, ever. Accidents such as this and worse will happen." ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Fine Tooning On Sat, 9 Feb 2002 08:46:59 EST SkyeFire Said As CAoL Message # 00010786 >In a message dated 2/8/02 1:14:56 PM Eastern Standard Time, >rolandx writes: > >> "Uh...Hey, Dad, the twins haven't gotten into your anime >>collection anytime lately, have they?" > > Roland winces, looking chagrined. "I, ah, introduced them to >Battle of the Planets recently. I didn't let them near Akira, of >course, but I think it whetted their appetites. > "And the SuperFriends thing is _your_ fault, calling them the >Wonder Twins," he adds defensively. "Just be glad they didn't like >Wendy and Marvin." "What, is it *my* fault that the moniker fits them so well?" DM asks with just a hint of righteous indignation. OOC: Darn! Does this mean that we'll never get to see Rachel and Liam chorusing "Phoenix Twin Powers, Activate!"? I was really looking forward to that, too... (:) ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Sat, 9 Feb 2002 08:47:05 EST SkyeFire Said As CAoL Message # 00010787 >In a message dated 2/8/02 2:48:41 AM Eastern Standard Time, >ljwolfe writes: > > Roland nods, looking down concernedly as the Earth begins to >approach at a high rate of speed. Despite that they haven't reached >the atmosphere yet, wind is starting to whistle around them. "Uh-huh, >whatever works, everybody into the cab!" He holds the door for his >beloved wife, after which the CAoL (by all appearances) quickly piles >in, followed by three robots with weird haircuts (a bowl-cut, wild >hair, and completely bald (:-) #:-) 0:^), a traveling used-saucer >salesman, an entire Martian Shriners convention (and you have to see >those hats on those tiny fur-topped antennae to believe it 8^), three >elephants on a unicycle, a hitch-hiking beluga whale, and the entire >Ringing Bros./Saturn & Traily Circus pile into the cab. (He went into >"leader" mode; things don't always refuse to work in the Tooniverse. >Sometimes they work _too_ well instead. ;^) "Well," one Roger philosophizes while trying to find room for an elephant, two penguins, and a half-dozen hire-wire artists on his lap, "at least he didn't say 'everybody get aboard'." The resultant rain of 2x4s, 2x6s, 1.75x3&7/8s, and assorted bits of plywood don't hurt --much-- but the cloud of sawdust is going to require a *lot* of vacuuming... > "I hope this t'ing gets about a million miles to da gallon; it >ain't just across the street," Bugs quips as he takes the wheel. "Would it help if I got out and--" One Roger Nerf-mallets the other before he can complete that particular straight line. > Roland slaps the back of the cab twice rapidly with his palm, and >it takes off. > He watches his team fly to safety with deep satisfaction in his >heart, knowing that he has gotten his friends and family off a >Flaming Platform of Doom. "Y'know...I have the strangest feeling that we forgot something back there." "Well, it can't be too important." > Then he looks _down_ at the FPoD. Which he is still on. His head >turns into a "sucker." The Rogers' eyes suddenly bug out as the other shoe drops: "DAD!" They plaster themselves against the nearest window, staring at the FPoD that is, oddly enough, free-falling in almost perfect formation with the taxi. DM turns to Mudd, looking grim. "You know what we have to do." "Right. In three, two, one..." At the unspoken 'zero!' both Rogers whip out brightly-colored kazoos and begin a sonorous, nasal version of "Taps." OOC: What, you expected them to be *worried* about him? > *W*H*A*M*!*!*!*!* > There's a tiny divot in the ground where the FPoD has turned into >a tangled wreck, having landed in The Forest. A field trip from >nearby Acme Loo (just visible in the distance) stops to stare in >shock as Roland staggers out, clothes charred and face blackened. The Srhiners in the taxi start holding up signs: 4.5, 7.6, 5.2, 3.14159, etc. "Geez, why so low?" "Well, we had to take off points in the 'poise' and 'grace under fire' categories. And frankly, he didn't do much to make up for it in the 'crater size' category, either..." > "It'th a good thing I'm immortal. Otherwithe, that would've hurt," >Roland gasps. Then he coughs, a black cloud of smoke issuing from his >mouth as he does so. Then, mercifully, he just plain collapses. "Gee," Dead Meat deadpans. "Just like a regular day back home." ================================= Subject: AAE 8: In the Ink-and-Painted Desert On Sat, 9 Feb 2002 09:36:13 -0800 (PST) Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010788 Trudging more-or-less northeast, Rob sighs. [I've been walking for twelve hours, and the sun shows no signs of going down. Then again, I don't remember anything in the RoadRunner/Coyote cartoons happening at night. Maybe anything that wasn't drawn doesn't exist. But I'm getting thirsty.] As the road winds its way through a rock arch, he notices a box. +----------+ |\ \ | \ |~| |~| \ | \ |_| |_| \ |T \__________\ | N | | \ T| | \ | FREE | \ | WATER |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ \| | +----------+ "Free water! Somebody's being nice today..." *glug* *glug* *glug*... +----------+ |\ \ | \ |~| | | \ | \ |_| |_| \ |T \__________\ | N | | \ T| | \ | FREE | \|/ \ | WATER |~~~~~~~~~~*- \| | /|\ +----------+ "No use wasting water...it'll just evaporate..." *glug* *glug* *glug*... +----------+ |\ \ | \ | | | | \ | \ |_| |_| \ |T \__________\ | N | | \ T| | \ | FREE |\|/ \ | WATER |~*- \| |/|\ +----------+ Turning away from the box, he fails to notice the burning fuse, which slips into the box...and nothing happens. Rob walks down the road, singing Tom Smith's "Operation: Desert Storm" in a loud, slightly off-key voice as a Mysterious Figure slips out of the shadows and studies the box. The MF kicks the box. Nothing happens. He shakes the box. Still, nothing happens. Finally, the Mysterious Figure opens the box, and an explosion roars out from inside. Down the road, Rob pauses. "Sounds like the Coyote just lost another one. Oh, well..." Turning his attention to the road again, he continues singing. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE 8: Tooning Out and Tooning In On Sat, 09 Feb 2002 14:22:33 -0800 Roland X Said As CAoL Message # 00010790 >On Fri, 8 Feb 2002 19:09:01 -0500 >David Said As CAoL Message # 00010785 > > Suddenly, David finds himself run over ("...anyone get the >number of that truck?...") by a fast-moving cloud of dust that passes >between dragon and rabbit Roland boggles, then winces in sympathy. >before returning back the same direction and running over David again >just as he stands up woozily ("...Or that freight train?..."). As he >regains his feet the second time, the cigarette case is revealed to >be empty as the dust clears. Keri-Ohki, however, is sitting on the >ground, surrounded by carrot crumbs and carrot stubs, with a full >belly. She belches and says "Meooooow," contentedly. "Eh, reminds me 'a my cousin Roger," Bugs notes dryly. "Ya better not try ta get inta _dis_ little gray hare's carrot patch dough, kid," he adds, not unkindly. > "Oh yes," David says, shaking off that persistant run-down >feeling, "For the love of the Maker, do not show, or stand in the way >of someone showing, my cabbit carrots, ever. Accidents such as this >and worse will happen." Roland gulps. "That's right...cabbits _are_ toons, aren't they?" (OOC: ROFL!!!) ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Sat, 09 Feb 2002 14:35:15 -0800 Roland X Said As CAoL Message # 00010791 >On Sat, 9 Feb 2002 08:47:05 EST >SkyeFire Said As CAoL Message # 00010787 > >>ljwolfe writes: >> >> Roland slaps the back of the cab twice rapidly with his palm, and >>it takes off. >> He watches his team fly to safety with deep satisfaction in his >>heart, knowing that he has gotten his friends and family off a >>Flaming Platform of Doom. > > "Y'know...I have the strangest feeling that we forgot something >back there." > "Well, it can't be too important." "Hey, fellas, you forgot _me!_" Princess Pearl Pureheart gasps as the taxi zips out of sight. (OOC: quote from the -- 80s? -- Might Mouse movie.) "Hey, one tooniverse at a time!" the animator says. "But you let Tex Avery's MGM toons in!" Pearl objects. "That's different. They almost _are_ Looney Toons." "Hmmph!" Pearl pouts. "It's getting so a girl can't so much as get kidnaped any more!" And she vanishes in a puff of eraser dust. Roland watches this exchange with growing concern. "Yipe. Even for the tooniverse, that was weeeeird." >> *W*H*A*M*!*!*!*!* >> There's a tiny divot in the ground where the FPoD has turned into >>a tangled wreck, having landed in The Forest. A field trip from >>nearby Acme Loo (just visible in the distance) stops to stare in >>shock as Roland staggers out, clothes charred and face blackened. > > The Srhiners in the taxi start holding up signs: 4.5, 7.6, 5.2, >3.14159, etc. > "Geez, why so low?" > "Well, we had to take off points in the 'poise' and 'grace under >fire' categories. And frankly, he didn't do much to make up for it in >the 'crater size' category, either..." Actually, that's part of the joke. You see, sticking out of the tiny divot is the entire maze-like platform, now a tangled objet d'art, all held up by a single point stuck in the ground... >> "It'th a good thing I'm immortal. Otherwithe, that would've >>hurt," Roland gasps. Then he coughs, a black cloud of smoke issuing >>from his mouth as he does so. Then, mercifully, he just plain >>collapses. > > "Gee," Dead Meat deadpans. "Just like a regular day back home." "I'd thay you're grounded," Roland groans, "but I already beat you to it." He spits out a chunk of turf and collapses again. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Sat, 09 Feb 2002 16:22:27 -0800 Dane Said As CAoL Message # 00010792 >Roland X Said As CAoL Message # 00010779 > >As Aurora precedes the group to the 'toon Earth, it suddenly becomes >obvious what she _did_ end up with. > "I would be hon-oured, mon cherie," an outrageous French accent >replies. Attached to the accent is a buff skunk doing quite a bit of >eyebrow waggling. > The only thing the paint brush left her with, you see, is a long >white stripe down her back... Turning around to see who is speaking, an amused but kind of preditory smile crosses her face. Taking a moment to "visualize" his past, she discerns his most vulnerable attribute. As he prepares to give chase, assuming that she will run as MOST of his former "loves" have, he is shocked when SHE flashes over to HIM, grabbing him in a lovers clench, bending him over backwards. She begins kissing his face and telling him how she loves him. When she tells him that they'll have a HUGE wedding he begins to squirm. As she tells him they'll watch the Macro Cosmic All grow old together, he starts to panic. Then she tells him that they'll have HUNDREDS of children. THAT'S when he loses it. The only evidence (besides the fact that he's not there anymore) of his departure, is the long trail of dust he kicks up with the air displaced by his movement. /*"My love. Come back. Ah, he plays hard to get."*/ She calls out (mostly to make sure he keeps on running). Then her tinkling laughter echos through the Tooniverse. A moment later she dumps a bucket of water, that just happens to be handy, over her head. The only thing the water seems to touch, is the white streak, washing it away. Again her laughter rings out across the strange place she finds herself in. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Tue, 12 Feb 2002 12:00:25 EST SkyeFire Said As CAoL Message # 00010793 >In a message dated 2/9/02 5:49:01 PM Eastern Standard Time, >rolandx writes: > >> The Srhiners in the taxi start holding up signs: 4.5, 7.6, 5.2, >>3.14159, etc. >> "Geez, why so low?" >> "Well, we had to take off points in the 'poise' and 'grace >>under fire' categories. And frankly, he didn't do much to make up >>for it in the 'crater size' category, either..." > > Actually, that's part of the joke. You see, sticking out of the >tiny divot is the entire maze-like platform, now a tangled objet >d'art, all held up by a single point stuck in the ground... OOC: Well, yeah. But if you had made a BIG crater, the judging rules would have required a little one. The game's rigged, y'see. (:) "And a NEGATIVE 4.5 from the Martian judge -- gee, Bob, the Earth team just can't seem to catch a break today..." ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Tue, 12 Feb 2002 12:00:35 EST SkyeFire Said As CAoL Message # 00010795 >In a message dated 2/9/02 5:49:01 PM Eastern Standard Time, >rolandx writes: > >>> "It'th a good thing I'm immortal. Otherwithe, that would've >>>hurt," Roland gasps. Then he coughs, a black cloud of smoke issuing >>>from his mouth as he does so. Then, mercifully, he just plain >>>collapses. >> >> "Gee," Dead Meat deadpans. "Just like a regular day back home." > > "I'd thay you're grounded," Roland groans, "but I already beat you >to it." He spits out a chunk of turf and collapses again. DM briefly considers making a dirty-mouth joke, but decides to leave it alone... ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Wed, 13 Feb 2002 22:48:44 -0800 Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010796 >On Sat, 09 Feb 2002 16:22:27 -0800 >Dane Said As CAoL Message # 00010792 > >A moment later she dumps a bucket of water, that just happens to be >handy, over her head. The only thing the water seems to touch, is the >white streak, washing it away. Again her laughter rings out across >the strange place she finds herself in. As the water flows down a drain, that somehow happens to let out _above_ her and repaints the white stripe, a trail of dust can be seen growing in the distance. At the head of the trail is Pepe, decked out in formal top hat, white tie and tails, carrying a bouquet of roses in one hand and a small box in the other. Not only has he dressed up, he's wearing cologne. The combination of that and his "natural" au de polecat is...unique. With Aurora's senses, she can't help but notice that not only is the smell overwhelming in the purely physical olfactory sense, it permeates every level of reality she can stand to check for it. Phew! Monsieur le Pew kneels in front of Aurora and offers up the box, which opens to reveal an impossibly large diamond ring (the ring is properly sized for Aurora, silly; it's the rock that's huge ). "Mon cherie, Ah have nevehr met a woman as reemarkable as you. You have overwhelmed me wizh your passion, your joie de vie, and Ah realize Ah would be a fool to let such a woman get away. Let us have zee wedding of which you spoke, and start making ze family you desire." He does a rou-rou aside to the "camera." "We can honey-moon at ze Casbah, and make zee beeutiful, how you say, cosmic, music togezher." ================================= Subject: AAE 8: In the Ink-and-Painted Desert, scene 2 On Fri, 15 Feb 2002 10:37:18 -0800 (PST) Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010798 "I've been through the desert on a horse with no name," Rob sings, pausing to add, "(so name the horse, already!)" as he continues on. [If night never falls in the cartoon desert, at least I don't get sleepy.] "...good to get out of the rain..." The road passes between two mesas at this point. As Rob reaches the "na na na nana na na" part, he steps on a wire, which drops to the road, and springs up again after he walks away. The person who set up the "Free Water" trap steps out of the shadows, and pokes the wire with a stick. When nothing happens, he throws a rock at the wire. The rock bounces off the wire, and thwacks the assassin in the shin. After hopping around on one foot for a moment, he stares at the wire, then heads over and stomps on it. Still, nothing happens. Frustrated, he begins jumping on the wire, taking out his annoyances on the recalcitrant trigger. Then he pauses, realizing the absolute -stupidity- of what he's doing, just before the claymore mines go off. The cajun-cooked killer licks his finger and thumb, and puts out a bit of burning hair(*). A short distance away, Rob blinks in surprise. "Funny, I didn't hear a road-runner. Come to think of it, there wasn't a road-runner for the last explosion I heard, either...oh, well. No point worrying about it." Turning his feet to the road again, he marches on. * - Yes, I know that claymore mines don't actually set people on fire. Remember, this is a cartoon universe... ================================= Subject: AAE8: Harlock goes to the Loo On Sat, 16 Feb 2002 01:39:57 -0800 Harlock - Bard Extraordinaire Said As CAoL Message # 00010799 Seeing Rob and Aurora wander off while Roland and Morgan are doing their research into "save the Earth" tooniverses, Harlock also decides to have a look around. He heads into town, looking for a chance to interact with people, when he notices something interesting. [Hmm. Multiple buildings, set apart from the rest of town. Surrounding fence. Entry arch. Looks like a school to me. Information would be good.] While roaming the halls of Acme Looniversity, the Bard happens across a course catalogue, so he starts flipping through it, muttering to himself. "Applied Physics 101: the mid-air scramble and how to avoid it. Applied Physics 110: walking on the ceiling--how and when. Music 101: the soundtrack and how to pace your actions to fit. Music 503: controlling the bad guys through music. Philosophy 231: the humor of falling objects--which is funnier, an anvil, a safe, or a piano? Reactions 101: the take, the double-take, and the boggle. Reactions 102: the wild take. Huh. From the stage work I've done, I know what a double-take is, but what are boggles and wild takes?" At that moment, Hello Nurse comes up behind Harlock and says "Excuse me, but you wanted to know what a wild take is?" He turns to respond...and promptly does a wild take: since he already _had_ a wolf's head, it temporarily morphs into a horse's head as he whinnies at her; his heart beats out of his ribcage; he yanks a mallet out of one of his pouches and bangs himself repeatedly on the head; and his tongue unrolls to a length of ten feet. Hello Nurse sighs, pulls Paul Bunyan's frying pan out of her little black bag, and *WHANG*s the Bard. "_That_ was a wild take. By the way, I'd get out of the hall if I were you. Classes are about to change." With that, she slinks off-screen. Harlock is still staring after her, bemused, when the bell rings. A dust cloud fills the hallway along with the sound of pounding feet for roughly three seconds, then the bell rings again. The dust vanishes, revealing a Bard-shaped dent in the ground, with the Bard still in it. Groaning, he pries himself up out of the dent. As he is dusting himself off, a long strip of cloth runs up. "Excuse me, but could you tell me where the Jones Building is?" Harlock, too bemused by the situation to be surprised, simply checks the course catalogue still in his hand and says "out that door and to the right. It should be the third building on the left." "Thanks. I'm late for my guest lecture appearance." "Who are you, anyway?" "I'm the running gag." With that, the gag *zip*s off in a cloud of dust. ================================= Subject: AAE 8: In the Ink-and-Painted Desert, Scene 3 On Sat, 16 Feb 2002 13:30:39 -0800 (PST) Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010800 Having run out of desert-related songs long ago, and being quite tired of repeating himself, Rob has wandered into a 'whatever strikes my fancy' line of singing as the road winds through a canyon. "Took the tram, 'round the bay, where everyone tells you to have a nice--" breaking off as he hears something. "Meep-meeep!" [A roadrunner. I was wondering if I'd see one...wait. When there's a roadrunner, there's a coyote. And where you find a cartoon coyote, you find an elegant, backfiring trap...and I'm in a nice place for a trap. I think I'll skip finding out what the backfire radius is...] With that, Rob breaks into a run, hoping to get clear of the danger zone. About a hundred feet from the end of the canyon, he hears a *zoom* as the road-runner passes by him, and the sound of falling rock from above. Pushing to his limit, he manages to evade the artificial avalanche, and hears a *rumble* *rumble* from behind him. Turning to see what has happened, he notes that there isn't an avalanche. [Hmm. I guess this was a 'boulder drop' plan, and the boulder went down one side, and up the other. I wonder how the coyote got hurt?] Then he shrugs. [It isn't my problem.] Turning his feet to the road, he heads out of the canyon, and through a highway interchange. On the top of the canyon, two boulders move, one on each side of the canyon. Slowly, each one rolls aside, falling into the canyon. Under one, there is a crushed coyote. Under the other, there is a flattened assassin. While the intended victims leave the area, the attackers yell at each other. The argument reduces to "@%$**&$$$$!," but the message is quite clear, and goes on until the boulders re-appear, restoring silence at the cost of major medical bills. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Tue, 19 Feb 2002 17:23:13 -0800 Dane Said As CAoL Message # 00010801 >Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010796 > >Monsieur le Pew kneels in front of Aurora and offers up the box, >which opens to reveal an impossibly large diamond ring (the ring is >properly sized for Aurora, silly; it's the rock that's huge ). >"Mon cherie, Ah have nevehr met a woman as reemarkable as you. You >have overwhelmed me wizh your passion, your joie de vie, and Ah >realize Ah would be a fool to let such a woman get away. Let us have >zee wedding of which you spoke, and start making ze family you >desire." He does a rou-rou aside to the "camera." "We can honey-moon >at ze Casbah, and make zee beeutiful, how you say, cosmic, music >togezher." Aurora smiles for a moment, "thinking" at a furious rate (even for her). Then throwing the back of her wrist against her forehead, /*"Alas, I cannot. The sight of you drove the memory of my "boyfriend" from my mind, momentarily. Even now I sense his approach."*/ ^Hydra, would you assist me for a moment? I need to dissuade a toon from courting me.^ ^Why don't you just KILL him?^ Hydra asks. ^Well asside from trying to court me, he hasn't done any harm to ME. Besides he's kind of cute in a smelly sort of way. I don't want to HURT him.^ She answers. ^Alright. I'll be there in a moment.^ Hydra says. While this -conversation- is going on. "Ah, cherie I shall fight him for you. We shall duel for your favor." Pepe declares. As he finishes a tiny saucer whips down from the sky. Hovering about 5000 feet above the ground, it is JUST barely visible. A cone of -light- is emitted from the bottom of the craft, and in the beam, Hydra appears, just in front of Pepe. 800 feet from the bottom of his booted feet, to his shoulders, with another 50 feet of neck streching up to each of his 9 heads (for the fan boys think an 800 foot MU Odin with 9 serpentine heads). Pepe's head rolls back, and back taking in the giant before him, before Aurora speaks. /*'Pepe, THIS is my boyfriend, Hydra. Hydra, this is Pepe. Hydra, I think Pepe has something he wants to say to you."*/ Aurora says, with a barely suppressed giggle (JUST barely). "Your...your...your...boy...boy...boy" Pepe manages to stammer out, before he passes out into a limp puddle of skunk. Bending over, Hydra scoops Pepe up on the tip of his right index finger. When Pepe pulls himself together, he finds himself standing on Hydra's finger more than 800 feet in the air. To give credit where it is due, Pepe manages to put on a brave showing. "I suppose you are going to tell me to stay away from your girlfriend?" he asks Hydra. /*"If I had to do that, she wouldn't be my girl now would she? She's busy just now. Don't interfere with her mission! Oh, and by the way, Pepe; Stay away from my girl."*/ Hydra responds. As he finishes this statement one of his heads turns, and spits some liquid upon a toon tree near his feet. There is a smell of hot turpentine, benzene, and some more volatile aromatic hydrocarbons, and the tree is utterly destroyed, melted into a puddle of paints that soak into the ground. With that done, he flips his hand quickly, tossing Pepe high into the air. As Pepe comes down, screaming, Hydra swats him like one would a handball, sending him many, MANY miles away over the horizon. A moment later a small mushroom cloud rises from where Pepe must have hit. ^HYDRA, I said I didn't want to HURT him.^ Aurora protests. ^He's a toon. He's not hurt. He's just a little crispy around the edges.^ Reaching down, he wipes the white streak off of Aurora's back. ^This may help you some. See you later.^ He says, as the little saucer "beams" him up. It then flashes off into the sky. /*"I owe you one, Hydra."*/ Aurora calls out. /*"Yeah, I know. I'll think up something -good-."*/ Hydra answers with a chuckle in his voice. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Sat, 23 Feb 2002 18:05:54 -0800 Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010803 >On Tue, 19 Feb 2002 17:23:13 -0800 >Dane Said As CAoL Message # 00010801 > >"Your...your...your...boy...boy...boy" Pepe manages to stammer out, >before he passes out into a limp puddle of skunk. Bending over, Hydra >scoops Pepe up on the tip of his right index finger. When Pepe pulls >himself together, he finds himself standing on Hydra's finger more >than 800 feet in the air. The stench was bad enough at a distance. This close, it's INCREDIBLE. It permeates every perceivable layer of reality, making Hydra's eyes water despite himself. >/*"If I had to do that, she wouldn't be my girl now would she? She's >busy just now. Don't interfere with her mission! Oh, and by the way, >Pepe; Stay away from my girl."*/ Hydra responds. As he finishes this >statement one of his heads turns, and spits some liquid upon a toon >tree near his feet. There is a smell of hot turpentine, benzene, and >some more volatile aromatic hydrocarbons, and the tree is utterly >destroyed, melted into a puddle of paints that soak into the ground. Suddenly, everything stops. Toons, "invaders," suns, moons, stars, EVERYTHING. There's a brief, grating _wrongness_ that all present can feel. A pair of enormous (even to Hydra) eyes forms out of the blackness, and they narrow. The Tooniverse is not happy. And it is _serious._ "Don't. Do. That. Again." The voice echoes around everyone and everything, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri tremble. An entire multiverse has spoken. A multiverse that personifies the second most primal concept in existence...humor. It appears to have lost its sense thereof for the moment. (And _that,_ ladles and germs, is more powerful than even a Starspawn.) "NO DIP." And the eyes recede, and the voice fades away, and there's a DOOOOOoooooo-WIP! sound. And Hydra has Groucho glasses on all nine heads. The sense of humor seems to have returned. >^He's a toon. He's not hurt. He's just a little crispy around the >edges.^ Reaching down, he wipes the white streak off of Aurora's >back. ^This may help you some. See you later.^ He says, as the little >saucer ...zooms away _before_ it can beam him up. It's been hijacked by three half-sized Marvin-nephews. They all laugh and razz him as they rocket away at a zillion miles an hour. And THAT is when the TRUE power of Pepe's stench hits Hydra's nostrils. All nine of them. Ouch. Aurora's _quite_ aware of it too, and is probably quite happy that she has only _one_ set of nostrils. And it's permeating their cloths, hair, and anything else they have on them the way cigarette smoke does to a smoker. Even Phenomenal Cosmic Power is going to have a hard time cleaning away _that_ stench. (OOC: Trying to uber-power your way out of a situation in a tooniverse has a nasty way of backfiring ;-). (OOC-R: P.S. NO DIP. ;^) ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Thu, 28 Feb 2002 18:17:31 -0800 Dane Said As CAoL Message # 00010805 >Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010803 > >...zooms away _before_ it can beam him up. It's been hijacked by >three half-sized Marvin-nephews. They all laugh and razz him as they >rocket away at a zillion miles an hour. > And THAT is when the TRUE power of Pepe's stench hits Hydra's >nostrils. All nine of them. > Ouch. > >Aurora's _quite_ aware of it too, and is probably quite happy that >she has only _one_ set of nostrils. And it's permeating their cloths, >hair, and anything else they have on them the way cigarette smoke >does to a smoker. Even Phenomenal Cosmic Power is going to have a >hard time cleaning away _that_ stench. Hydra gives Aurora a pained look, as he slips out of the tooniverse. Suddenly separated from the rest of his being, that part of Hydra that was the saucer, reverts to it's natural state, pure energy. The flash is bright enough to momentarily conceal the sun itself. Then three VERY crisp Marvin-nephews find themselves buzzing along in space, without a spaceship. Moments later, Hydra locates what he is looking for, a universe within microseconds of coalescing back into a monobloc. Bathing in the hot space-time, he eventually is able to BURN the stench off of himself (contaminating that poor unsuspecting universe in the process). As he plunges into the roiling space-time, Aurora weakly calls out to him. ^Thanks, I owe you one.^ ^You certainly do. I'll think of something, EXOTIC!^ He answers, with a definite hint of unhappiness in his "voice". Then she examines herself, gagging slightly. /*"Phew. Like I said; cute in a smelly kind of way."*/ Reaching into a pocket (and thereby into a far off factory) she pulls out a tiny box. From the tiny box she pulls an Acme Little Giant, Industrial Strength, Deodorizer that's not much bigger than the factory that she got it from. Sighing, she steps into the entrance opening. Whereupon she is scrubbed, washed, spun, rinsed, wrung, pummeled, squeegeed, blow-dried, powdered and perfumed clean. /*"Perhaps it would be better if I were to remain invisible until I am needed."*/ She says after going though that ordeal. Suiting action to words, she fades from sight, to wait for her powers to be needed. ================================= Subject: AAE8: Another branch heard from On Fri, 01 Mar 2002 08:05:26 +0000 Tech Tonic Said As CAoL Message # 00010806 Several universes away, a being not quite calcuable by human logic looks up where it rests in waiting. A voice that would shatter any minor universe that contained it speaks slowly as it concentrates "I sense a great disturbance in the Farce, as of a million toons crying out in laughter...." It Concentrates further, a small part of it's being breaking away in the form of a roiling ball of yellow energy, and dashing along familiar pathways through the multiverse. "This humor intriques me, find out more." The ball of energy zips through myriad pathways, hither and zither, over and under, tracing the route to a much used universe. It pops out of a mirror in an average wizard liek study, the mage OneEye sleeps, a book propped over his face. The ball hovers over his head, hissing and crackling. Sitting up suddenly, OneEye blinks furiously. "Ah'm up, ah'm up! geez, cahn't an old man get some rest without being sent on a mission....." He glares at the orb as it speaks to him. "Wait, slow down. You want me to go where?" Shaking his head OneEye Raises from his seat. "No. No way, no how. I ain't goin. I've never been and ah ain't never gonna go. Dat place is dangerous! And Dats my final word, God or no." The energy makes a saddened crackling sound and dissipates, heading for the next target. OneEye just shakes his head. "Gods dat was close." The Gods Avatar begins its journey to find someone, anyone to go to the toonviverse for it. The replies are many and varied, from running in horror into the night, to screams of abject teroor, and even occaisionally resorting to violence. Eventually the word is passed all down the line, and the prospective adventurers say no as soon as it appears in thier reality, or open fire, depending. After barely escaping from Frank Millers Dark Knight variant, the Avatar pauses, wondering if it's been going about this the wrong way. Perhaps a creature of brute power, that hadn't been tapped before. It chuckles to itself, heading into a Lovecraftian universe where all the wrong books had been read at all the right times. And even before it speaks to the great devourer, dread Cuthulu stares at it and speaks, with weighty words, that would cause a mere mortal tocower into insanity. "Never in a million years will i return there. I went once, and i almost drove ME nuts. Find yourself another scrapegoat." The Avatar almost pouts, but finds it can't without lips, so settles for flipping to the next universe over. It flips through the universe seemingly at random, before finding one that might be useful. It's an extension of the Tooniverse, but not completely within its rules. It may still leave safely from this one. It floats through the beautifully sculpted three dimensial scenery, watchng the cuboid and sphereoid residents of this demension at play, seeking one single lifeform to aid it. There! the perfect mix of innocence and bravery, someone who can actually survive the tooniverse. And what luck, he has an animal companion. Even easier, by the toon laws. The Avatar buzzes down and begins speaking to the juvnile. "Whoa, what're you?" The boy frowns, his green skin scrunching up. "Whats a god?" Drops his jaw. "The users user?!?! Alpha-numeric! and you want my help? What with?" The boy nods. "Will i be able to get back here all right? Maybe even before i leave? Sweet! Wait'll i tell Bob!" Begins to move away, then stops, shocked. "You want only me, without bob? Well, cani bring Frisket? Awesome! Let's go!" The ball expends it's energy in two sharp flashes, etching a J symbol over thier icons. "All right then, J-Brand, Reboot!" >>...zooms away _before_ it can beam him up. It's been hijacked by >>three half-sized Marvin-nephews. They all laugh and razz him as they >>rocket away at a zillion miles an hour. There is a flash of light from within the space ship, as Enzo and Frisket beam in. Enzo gazes around wild eyes, even as his normal three d form changes to match the tooniverse. "Alpha numeric! Hay, whats this button do?" As he reaches over the shoulder of one of the martian nephews, pushing the biggest, reddest button available. As he does so.... >Hydra gives Aurora a pained look, as he slips out of the tooniverse. >Suddenly separated from the rest of his being, that part of Hydra >that was the saucer, reverts to it's natural state, pure energy. The >flash is bright enough to momentarily conceal the sun itself. Then >three VERY crisp Marvin-nephews find themselves buzzing along in >space, without a spaceship. The two begin rabidly plummeting towards the earth, Enzo being relatively unharmed, but frisked covered in a thin layer of ash, which he shakes off hurriedly. The boy smiles happily as he free falls, the big dog attempting to get benetah him, in a ctaching position. As they fall, for a moment they match trajectories with Buttons the dog attempting to hold a falling mindy, and Roger Rabbit holding Baby Herman. All three animals share a long suffering glance. "D-d-d-d-don't worry, it gets easier with time....." Roger comiserates. All three hit at the same time, the animals being buried to the point that only the hands holding the child are above ground. Baby Herman and Mindy wander off together, mindy lookign back to say. "Okay mister man, i love yas buh-bye!" Then giggles. "Silly puppy buttons...." Enzo shakes his head, staring around i wonder. "Whoa!" Tech Tonic As Enzo Matrix and Frisket ================================= Subject: AAE 8: Out of the Desert On Sun, 3 Mar 2002 11:30:21 -0800 (PST) Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010808 As Rob trudges through the Ink-and-Painted Desert, he fails to notice the hole coming up until he falls into it. As he falls, a cannon fires, and the ball zips through where Rob was. Sailing on, the round shot curves up the side of a rock formation, and ends up arcing back to land in the cannon from which it came before exploding. Meanwhile, Rob finds himself moving through a tunnel at astonishing speeds. At a crossroads, he takes a sharp turn, moving so quickly that he barely has time to register the "Albu..." on the sign. Abruptly, his ride ends, as he pops up in the middle of a celebration. Glancing around, he reads a banner; "Welcome to the Fifty-Third Annual Coachella Valley Carrot Festival!" "Drat. I took a wrong turn somewh-whoa!" He throws himself to one side, as three black-and-white dog-like humanoids with red noses rush by. A moment later, an overweight security guard with a butterfly net chases after them. "I wonder what that was all about?" Rob muses, before stepping back in the hole. This time, he manages to navigate the tunnel system correctly, more by luck than anything else, and pops up at the gate of Acme Looniversity. ***** Elsewhere, an assassin who has been blown up, crushed, shot, folded, spindled, and mutilated tenders his resignation. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE7c: End of the Line... On Thu, 14 Mar 2002 21:01:24 EST SkyeFire Said As CAoL Message # 00010812 In a message dated 1/28/02 9:07:12 PM Eastern Standard Time, ljwolfe writes: >> >>/*"OOOOOOHHHH, KIDS!"*/ The small voice of The Stardragon is heard >>to exclaim as it appears in The Place. /*"I can make him go BOOM for >>you. Hold still Roger."*/, it adds. Roger just...sighs, with the longsuffering air of someone who's been down this road before...many times. >/*NO,*/ Morgan, maternal instincts kicking in, sends in a suitably >parental tone. The sort you hear when the toddler has the fireplace >lighter and is offering to light the candles on the dinner table with >it. You don't want the child to feel like they've done something >wrong (they _are_ trying to do something helpful after all), but you >_do_ want them to stop. Now. The Rogers exchanged a slightly relieved look. "No boom?" asks smoldering-Roger. "No Boom," confirms bar-Roger. "No Boom *today,*" smoldering-Roger corrects morosely. "Boom tomorrow. There's *always* a Boom tomorrow." OOC: Darn, but I miss Ivanova... ================================= Subject: AAE8: Spendthrift Squirrels On Sat, 16 Mar 2002 22:25:26 -0500 Mike Knight Said As CAoL Message # 00010814 EXT - CENTRAL MEADOW BETWEEN SETS - Day FADE IN on WS of a pair of circus ELEPHANTS being led out of the rear driver's side door of a TAXI CAB by a pair of clowns, RALPH and NORTON. The pair of clowns look a bit like their Honeymooner's counterparts, but with greasepaint 5 o'clock shadows, and baggy pants too wide for them, held up comicly by skinny suspenders. They have to tug ridiculously hard to get the ELEPHANTS through the cab door, but eventually they both come free. RALPH jerks a thumb toward the CITY SET as NORTON pats his elephant tenderly. RALPH (calmly) Okay, Norton, it's this way. NORTON (tenderly) That's a good girl, Trixie, was a nice ride wasn't it? Very quick, voo-voo-voo-voom! CUT TO: MS of RALPH checking his watch and scowling. RALPH (testily) C'mon, Norton, we haven't got all day! CUT TO: WS of RALPH and NORTON with ELEPHANTS' trunks hanging in from the right top of the screen. RALPH's tapping his foot impatiently. NORTON looks apologetic, realising he was holding them up, but trying to play it up light-hearted. NORTON (sheepish) Oh yeah, sure thing, Ralph! C'mon Trixie! RALPH (placated) Let's go, Alice. RALPH and NORTON lead the ELEPHANTS off left, leaving the frame followed by the lower halves of the two elephants moving at a slow steady pace. PAN LEFT as they leave to show them walking into the CITY SET with a sign saying DING-A-LING BROS. CIRCUS TODAY! RALPH, NORTON, and the two ELEPHANTS can be seen walking down a hill, their backs to the camera. CUT TO: A MS of the ELEPHANTS' backsides, with a flat DAVID and a flat KERI-OHKI, each stuck to their own ELEPHANT posterior. A breeze blows them off the back end of the ELEPHANTS, and as they twirl away like paper in the breeze... CUT TO: EXT - DEPARTMENT STORE - DAY A REVOLVING DOOR spins as the lower halves of pedestrians, cut off by the top of the frame, enter the store. The REVOLVING DOOR continues to spin as the flat as paper DAVID and flat as paper KERI-OHKI are swept in by the breeze. CUT TO: EXT - BUILDING TOP - DAY Seemingly in the center of the WS of the rooftop, the film begins to burn away, though it is obviously an ink-and-paint representation, not literal film burning. Within the white space, however, there's a brief glimpse of true flames and the outline of a humanoid figure in the center, a dark patch in the engulfing orange flames. That quickly vanishs as the ink and paint flames force their way back from the center point where they'd originally burst out from, and as they come to touch the humanoid figure, they immediately engulf it and turn it to a cigarette ash-composed figure. That quickly crumbles to the ground and reforms into the shape of an all-black squirrel version of David. The BLACK SQUIRREL picks himself up and dusts himself off, then looks himself over casually. DEVON (musing) Hmm, that's never happened before. Ah, I'm in a tooniverse, that explains a good deal. Interesting choice of pun, this Black Squirrel Lensman body. David must be a Gray Squirrel Lensman, easy enough to find. You thought you'd lose me, slipping back in time, didn't you? To your sorrow, however, Devon Midas Sept is not so easy a tail to shake. CUT TO: INT - DEPARTMENT STORE - DAY WS of the department store main floor, just beyond a counter and in front of an elevator. From OFF CAMERA LEFT, DAVID and KERI-OHKI's flat forms finally settle and spring back into their original forms. DAVID stands, dusting himself off, then helps the sitting KERI-OHKI to her feet. DAVID Well, this looks as good a spot as any to start looking for the twins. Maybe in the toy department. DAVID walks over to a chart high on the wall, for him, next to the elevator and looks it over, a finger browsing the lists. DAVID Here we go, third floor. CUT TO: WS of ELEVATOR DOORS at an almost perpendicular angle as KERI-OHKI walks into frame from OFF LEFT to join DAVID, who's pressing the call button for the ELEVATOR. The DOORS slide open and inside stands DEVON, a sinister sneer on his face, hands on his hips. DAVID (nervous) Uh, let's take the stairs. DAVID grabs KERI-OHKI and runs, legs a circular blur, OFFSCREEN-LEFT. DEVON poses, ready to lunge after them, and leaps, only to have the ELEVATOR DOORS slam closed, his arms, nose and lips, tongue sticking out, the only parts that make it out the DOOR. DEVON (monotone) Ouch. The ELEVATOR DOORS open as a MAN, seen from midchest down, presses the button. The MAN gets into the ELEVATOR as DEVON staggers out, STARS whirling around his head. The ELEVATOR DOORS close and DEVON shakes his head vigorously from side to side, then adopts a thoughtful pose. DEVON (musing) Of course, laws of the Tooniverse, the villian always gets caught in every possible trap in the cartoon. I'm going to have to recast myself if I'm going to have a chance here. CUT TO: MCU of DEVON as a LIGHTBULB suddely forms over DEVON's head, glowing brightly. DEVON (sudden realization) Ah! The pesky guy you want to be rid of. Debt-collectors, door-to-door salesmen, yes, these can keep me one step ahead of David. I'll have to settle for something less than his head on a platter, but here I couldn't get that anyway. I'll wait until he's left to collect the rest, neither of us have the strength of patience to actually live here. A wicked look comes over DEVON's face, little horns forming from his hair. DEVON (Musing theatrically with intent to be overheard) But, that doesn't mean I can't get the money he owes me to replace the property he destroyed. CUT TO: WS of DAVID running past an endless series of counters, KERI-OHKI held by one arm, being towed without touching the ground. DAVID (out of breath) We ... gotta ... get ... outta ... here! Gotta ... get ... time ... to ... plan! CUT TO: WS of DRESSER. DAVID and KERI-OHKI enter from OFFRIGHT, and DAVID brakes to a halt in front of it, opens a DRAWER up only to have DEVON pop out of it. DEVON quickly puts on an Accountant's visor and unrolls a long list that scrolls to end at DAVID's feet. DEVON (reading) David, this is a bill for all damages accrued during our last encounter. Three hundred Cylon warriors, with pilot/co-pilot/navigator/weapons programming, each costing seven hundred thousand United States dollars, circa the year two-thousand, hereafter referred to as "Dollars-" DAVID slams the DRAWER closed, the list still sticking out from it as he grabs KERI-OHKI and runs OFF RIGHT. The DRAWER pops back open and DEVON leans against the side, both elbows propping up his chin. DEVON (smiling) This is working better than I thought. DEVON leaps out of the drawer, grabbing his list and pocketing it, then points after DAVID. DEVON (shouting) Wait'll you get to the pain and suffering subsection! CUT TO: WS of ELEVATOR DOORS opening on left side of screen, with DAVID, still towing KERI-OHKI, inside from OFF RIGHT. CUT TO: WS of DAVID and KERI-OHKI sitting in the back corner of the car, panting and relieved. DAVID (out of breath) I think we lost him. DEVON (polite tone) What floor please? DAVID (cheerful) Three please. DAVID suddenly looks startled and the camera ZOOMS OUT to reveal DEVON standing at the controls next to the elevator doors. DEVON turns and pulls out the LIST from before, reading again. DEVON (reading) One hundred Cylon Fighters, each valued at one million dollars apiece. The ELEVATOR BELL rings and the DOORS open. DAVID runs out of the ELEVATOR, leaving DEVON and KERI-OHKI. DEVON looks sinisterly at KERI-OHKI, hands on his hips, list in one hand, leaning in. DEVON (calmly) I haven't gotten to the three hundred you and your friends destroyed while he and the Transformer were trying to infiltrate my base ship, each with their own three man crew. KERI-OHKI looks horrified and runs out of the DOORS after DAVID, leaving DEVON looking after them. DEVON (calling after) Not to mention those on the base ship or what you did to the base ship! CUT TO: WS of DAVID running just ahead of KERI-OHKI as they run past stacks of toys. DAVID Devon's trying to keep me off balance, trying to work the tooniverse against the proverbial hero using the old trying to escape the debt collector routine. But since he was holding Anstice/Rene at the time and we were doing the daring rescue, that's like the bad guy trying to collect for costs accrued while commiting the crime. Still, we need to actually turn the comic routine back to something in our favor, which means creating a moment where we turn the tide of events against him. And I think I've got just the thing. C'mon, its just over this way. CUT TO: WS of DEVON walking through the toy section, looking everywhere. He stops, planting his hands on his hips, angry. DEVON (frustrated) Where could he have gotten to? He's got to be here somewhere. DAVID (off-screen through speakers) Attention shoppers, for the next five minutes, there is a thirty percent off sale in our perfume department. From behind, a CROWD OF WOMEN stampede from OFF LEFT to OFF RIGHT across the screen, running DEVON down. While DEVON is lying on the floor face down and flat as a pancake, KERI-OHKI hops into frame from OFF RIGHT with a can of WHITE PAINT. She paints a long, straight stripe on DEVON from head, down the back to the tip of his tail, making him look vaguely skunk-like, then tosses the PAINT CAN away and pulls out a tank labled HELIUM and inflates him until DEVON is a round ball with tail, feet, hands, and head, eyes bulging. KERI-OHKI yanks out the hose and DEVON flies OFF LEFT like a full balloon whose knot came undone. KERI-OHKI watchs the offscreen flight, her head moving around in random directions following the unseen flight. There's a loud CRASH as KERI-OHKI covers her eyes, then lets one eye peek out. CUT TO: WS of DEVON lying in a pile of FEMALE MANNEQUINS, arms and legs, sticking out amidst tangled clothing and wooden arms and legs. CUT TO: WS of DAVID at a PAY PHONE, left of the center of the frame, next to the REVOLVING DOOR at the center. DAVID (into phone) Hello, operator, put me through to Paris, France, please. (beat) Hello, yes, I'd like to speak to Pepe Le Pew. (beat) Hello, Pepe, you don't know me, but there's someone who'd love to know you, a lovely girl who- The REVOLVING DOOR spins in a blur as PEPE suddenly arrives holding a tophat and flowers. DAVID looks mildly startled. PEPE (suave) You called? PEPE turns to look OFF RIGHT, then leaps into the air in joy. PEPE (excited) Darling! CUT TO: Same WS of DEVON in the MANNEQUINs as before, coming around and standing up, but dressed in women's attire, including a nice wide-brimmed hat and a dress. As he is about to try untangling himself from the garments, PEPE grabs DEVON in his arms, leaning him almost horizontally, their faces very close together. PEPE (cooing) Oh, my beautiful skunk femme fatale, what wonderful music we will make together. Oh, the melody of love, our hearts burning for each other. Oh, the emotion. Oh, the desire! Oh! Oh! OH! DEVON (high-pitched) But I'm not a -- uh oh. DEVON leaps out of PEPE's arms, his feet turning into a blur as he runs down PEPE's face and chest before speeding OFF RIGHT. PEPE smiles. PEPE (chuckling) Oh, she is wanting to find somewhere where we can be alone. (calling after) Hey, wait up, baby, we can find seclusion together! CUT TO: EXT - DEPARTMENT STORE - DAY WS of DAVID and KERI-OHKI walking out the REVOLVING DOOR into the street. DAVID You know, I'd say that's a match made in Heaven. I never knew two stinkers who deserved each other more. FADE OUT =================================