Action, Adventure, Excitement, Part 8 Chapter 6 Subject: Re: AAE 8: Collateral Damage Girls(?!) On Sun, 30 Jun 2002 00:36:20 -0700 Roland X Said As CAoL Message # 00010918 >On Sat, 29 Jun 2002 21:06:49 -0700 (PDT) >Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010917 > >The DyNaMo stood on one foot, its opposite arm reaching for the sky. >All in all, the body language screamed "GOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!" Pom-poms briefly appeared in Bubbles' han--er, floated in front of her arms. "Go, go, Dy-na-mo! Go, go, Dy-na-mo!" Then she tossed them aside. "Hey, wait a minute. That wasn't very nice." >[Um. I get the feeling that Buttercup's about to demote me from >"chocolate cake" priority to "leftover veggies."] OOC: And this is a BAD thing? (Well, I'm sure Dhyrclhanc would say it is... ;^) > /I've got Dexter covered,/ Rob replied. Taking a moment to grab a >phone book, he gingerly dropped it into the DyNaMo's cockpit, and >began thumbing through it. "Bingo." > Picking up the cellular phone that the Professor had thoughtfully >installed, he dialed a number. "Hello? Is this Didi? No, I just >wanted to let your mother know that Dexter is in Townsville, visiting >Professor Utonium, and he probably won't be back for a few hours. Oh, >he couldn't possibly make it home in less than half an hour. You'll >let her know when she comes back from the grocery store? Good. Oh, >and he says to stay out of his lab, Or Else. That's nice. Good-bye." At that very moment, on Dexter's dashboard a "DeeDee Infrared Hyper-Danger Alert Signal" went off, a deep red light pooping out of the ceiling of the heli-bubble and a "whoop-whoop" sound emanating inside it. "No! This cannot BE!" Dexter wailed. "What is it, Dexter?" the Professor asked. "My labOOOratory is about to be invaded by..." (cue ominous music) "MY SEESTER DEE-DEE!" "Great scott! Hurry, Dexter!" the Professor gasped as Dexter's heli-bubble grew rocket pods out the sides. In moments, it was zooming away. "A laboratory designed by a genius of Dexter's caliber...invaded by a sister," the Professor said, shaking his head solemnly. "The horror. The horror." > The cell phone dropped to the floor of the cockpit as red lights >came on inside and the DyNaMo toppled. [What was that?] > >* - Gyroscopic Stabilizer Tumbled: Restoration in 2:14 >* - Hull Integrity Comprised >* - Foreign Matter Embedded in Hull >* - Automatic Defense Over-Ride Engaged: Firing in 0:05 Bubbles cocked her head gently to one side. "Um, Blossom, I think I hear the Dynamo's systems. They're upset about the nice man in the blue suit denting her." "Too bad we can't get it to realize it's Princess' fault and target _her,_" BlossoMorgan muttered under her breath. Bubbles looked up. "Can the missiles reach the moon?" She considered this. "Wow. The moon. Do you think _we're_ that fast now?" Mojo rises shakily in the Robo Jojo, bolts flying out from time to time. "No matter _how_ powerful you become, it does not matter! For I am brilliant! Clever! Ingenious! I have a better-than-average brain! You cannot stop me, for I have devised the ultimate plan to destroy you all! Today I will take over Townsville, then tomorrow, the world! All will cringe before me! Every knee will shake in my presence! The world will learn to fear the name...MOJO JOJO! AHAHAHAHAHA!" (Cue Mojo Jojo theme ;^) BlossoMorgan and Bubbles scowled. "Oh, shut up!" they said, charging straight at the Robo Jojo, which turned into a lovely shower of tiny metal parts. The clear dome spun wildly in mid-air for several moments after it was the only piece of the Robo Jojo left. Once it stopped spinning, it floated for a moment more. "Ohhh...." Then he looked at his control panel. "HA! My emergency back-up fail-safe last-ditch aerial flotation system is active! I will yet destr--" "Power = Zero," the panel suddenly intoned. "oh, no," Mojo said in a high-pitched voice, eyes doing a Wile E. Coyote shrink. Then it fell to earth in one sudden streak, slamming into the ground and shattering. Mojo himself, his suit torn, his glass brain jar sporting a broken spot, and a black eye squeezed shut, quivered as he climbed out of the crater. "ohhhhhh..." > [It's targeting Roland!] Frantically, Rob worked the controls, >trying to cut out the over-ride before the DyNaMo fired. Not that he >was worried about Roland getting killed, but the blast radius was >likely to level several city blocks of Townsville, as well as wasting >firepower. The DyNaMo shuddered, as its innate nature (overwhelming violence) was restrained. > "Re-assess Target Priority, access code Sugar And Spice! Designate >current target as Friendly!" The targeting computer, not the most >stable thing in the first place, decided to fire half the weapons at >Roland any way. Unfortunately, the other half were split between >DhyrKaiju and Buttercup. [yep. that hurt.] Roland, being the hero-type, absorbed the explosion as several dozen missiles slammed into him. The crumpled-paper-like remains floated gently to the ground next to Mojo. Mojo looked down at Roland. "Whoof. And I thought _I,_ Mojo Jojo, was having a bad day." A moment later, Mojo slammed face-first into the ground. > Then, as if it were giving up in disgust, the targeting computer >shut down. "you are," Roland replied weakly, beginning the slow process of regenerating that much damage. > [This thing won't be operational for another two minutes, and I >don't have the time.] Popping the canopy hatch, Rob programmed in an >automatic return, then jumped out, closing and locking the DyNaMo >behind him. Four blocks of wreckage surrounded him. "This thing does >have trouble aiming, doesn't it?" /Rob, my friend, you have a fantastic gift for understatement,/ Roland whimpered across the lens-link. He tried to stand, and succeeded in spasming uncontrollably for a moment. /um, i think i'll just sort of stay here for a little bit.../ BlossoMorgan looked down at Roland, who was sprawled on the ground next to the unconscious simian. /Would you like some help, love?/ /help. yes. help would be nice,/ Roland groaned. She floated over, then touched the...rounded ends of her arms to the crumpled form that was Roland. The pain receded, but the process went slowly. Bubbles floated behind BlossoMorgan, looking at Roland sympathetically. "Awwww. Blossom, is the nice blue man gonna be okay?" "Sure he will, it's just a matter of how soon," BlossoMorgan said matter-of-factly. Bubbles looked at the pile of Roland sitting next to Mojo. He was slowly unfolding and filling out, but he still looked for all the world like something Buttercup had done to one of Bubbles' crayon drawings. Suddenly, she brightened. "I can fix him!" Grabbing Roland, she zoomed to the edge of a nearby building, pulled him as taut as she could, and began rubbing him against it, as if he were a piece of paper she was trying to smooth the wrinkles out of. /ow,/ Roland whimpered again. He tried to ask Bubbles to stop, but his mouth kept getting rubbed against the wall before coherent words could form. Besides, it _was_ working (if slowly and painfully). "BUBBLES!" BlossoMorgan objected, nearly speechless. Bubbles stopped, looking at "Blossom" with wide, innocent eyes. "What?" "Um...I think that's done as much good as it's going to, and he needs to..." BlossoMorgan trailed off. "inflate," Roland said desperately, his mouth finally free (and in one piece) enough to interject. Bubbles had another "light-bulb" moment, zoomed back home, and got a bicycle tire pump. She cleaned the tip off and put a teaspoon of sugar on it, then stuck it in Roland's mouth and pumped at super-speed. A second later, she looked up. "oops," Bubbles said, embarrassed. She had a Roland-balloon. BlossoMorgan tried _desperately_ not to dissolve into giggles. Despite the occasional sputter, she succeeded. Roland, eyes wide, looked at the hose, then gulped and opened his mouth. Soon, he was shooting around Townsville like the title character in the kitchen scene at the beginning of "Who Framed Roger Rabbit." "Bububuphbpbpbpbuhuhuhuhuh!" he cried as he flew through The Mayor's office, accidentally switching the clothes on The Mayor and Ms. Bellum, blasted through the Gangreen Gang (turning them a lovely shade of purple), flattened the Amoeba Boys on one bounce and making them think they were being arrested (for which they began congratulating themselves), crashing all around Monster Isle (and knocking out half the monsters in the process), and finally landing back where he started right next to the bicycle pump, still sputtering as air shot out of his mouth. At least he was fully 3-D again. Yep, BlossoMorgan and Bubbles lost it. They floated in mid-air, giggling helplessly and holding their sides. /*snicker* Sorry, honey./ Bubbles tried to apologize herself, but she was giggling too hard. "S-s-s-hee hee hee!" Roland tried to sigh, but it just came out as a particularly emphatic hiss. /Eh. That's okay, it had to be hilarious from the outside.../ And oh yeah, Rob was out there somewhere... ;^) > "I'm Fuzzy Lumpkin, and I'm here ta squash the Powerpuff Girls. >But I'm warmin' up on -you-." > > Rob dodged the debris as the announcer began a voice-over: "Oh, >no. Does this herald the Second Brutish Invasion? Will Him return to >re-unite the Beat-Alls?" "Are you KIDDING?" Him blurted, safe in his lair in Heck (and watching the battle on TV). "I'm going to Waikiki, find Felix Faust and get drunk on mai-tais with him. No more fighting heroes for _me_ today, no sirree..." (/) Roland Morgan /|\ "And because I have yet to meet a greater scientific mind this side of the galaxy, I can comfortably say that sentence comfortably." --Blossom, _pretending_ to be Mojo Jojo, in "The Powerpuff Girls Best Rainy Day Adventure Ever" ================================= Subject: Re: AAE 8: Princesses of the Universe On Mon, 01 Jul 2002 18:57:57 -0700 Dane Said As CAoL Message # 00010919 >Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010916 > >>On Sat, 29 Jun 2002 16:54:45 -0700 >>Dane Said As CAoL Message # 00010915 >> >>Seeing that Bubbles and BlossoMorgan are about to teach Mojo Jojo a >>new meaning for the word -trash-, Aurora asks, /*"Roland, would you >>like a little help?"*/. > > Roland grimaces. /Nah, I got it./ Suddenly, electric blue clamps >and a couple of I-Beams pin Princess in place. > "Hey! NO FAIR!" Princess howled as Roland pulled her off his leg >(breaking it in the process, but Roland heals the damage in moments). > "Sorry, Princess, but you're about to have a Chemical-X-ectomy," >he informed her, forming a needle-sharp field of power next to his >hand. Princess' eyes bulged, and she began to howl. > Then the Tooniverse, being the Tooniverse, caused the >infinitesimally possible error of a duplicate energy-boost flowing >into Princess. She shattered the already-strained-to-the-limit >restraints Roland had created, imbedding him in the back of the >DyNaMo. "ow." > Princess stared at her hands, blinked, then smiled with sheer >malice. "YES! Who's NEXT?!" Then she locks on Aurora. "Thanks, lady." >Then, showing her gratitude (and even before _Aurora_ can react), she >slams into the Starspawn, sending them both hurtling into the Moon. Having been startled for the first time in (literaly) epochs, Aurora decides that the sensation is not entirely unpleasant. In fact it definitely has some aspect of pleasantness to it, and she decides to look into possible ways to experience it again. But that would have to wait, as right now she needed to deal with Princess. Acting at translight speeds, she slows time for Princess, and speeds it up for herself. Then she grabs Princess, and wraps her in a field of force hard enough and strong enough to be able to smash through a black hole without being disturbed at all. > Roland slowly, painfully, peeled himself out of the DyNaMo. "ow. >ow. ow. ow. ow?" He looked up at the DyNaMo's head. Then down at the >feet. Then all around him. Every weapons port that came out of the >DyNaMo's back (and every inch of the DyNaMo is a weapons port) was >pointing at him. "this is gonna _hurt._" > >Meanwhile, BlossoMorgan overshot the Robo Jojo by a couple of miles, >slamming into a building when she tried to make a U-turn. /Darn it, >I'm still getting _used_ to this body! _Warn_ people before you do >something like that!/ She peeled herself off the building and shook >herself off. > > Bubbles, far more used to her powers, merely shot through the Robo >Jojo, leaving a neat Bubbles-shaped hole as she caught up with >BlossoMorgan. "Blossom? Are you okay?" she asked dubiously. > >"I'm fine, Bubbles," BlossoMorgan replied. "I just wasn't ready for >that unexpected power boost." > > Bubbles stared. "What power boost?" She turned around to look back >at the Robo Jojo. BlossoMorgan pointed at the nice neat >Bubbles-figure she'd left in the machine. Bubbles gasped. "oh. THAT >power boost. I _thought_ I felt kinda funny, but I thought it was >just the Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs Buttercup talked me into >having for breakfast..." > > Mojo stared at this for a moment, then smiled. "Uh...see? SEE? I >_told_ you I had planned for everything! This situation is going my >way! Villainy has taken the lead! The battle is moving towards >victory for MOJO JOJO!" And of course, he starts to laugh maniacally. > That's when the two PPGs came around for another pass... Having confined Princess, Aurora strips the child of her powers, and transports the two of them back to Earth. Arriving in the four blocks of destruction caused by the DyNaMo targeting computer. She drops the forcefield imprisioned Princess next to Mojo Jojo. /*"Is this what you meant by the situation is going your way?"*/ She asks him sweetly. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE 8: Princesses of the Universe On Mon, 01 Jul 2002 20:40:24 -0700 Roland X Said As CAoL Message # 00010920 >On Mon, 01 Jul 2002 18:57:57 -0700 >Dane Said As CAoL Message # 00010919 > >Having been startled for the first time in (literaly) epochs, Aurora >decides that the sensation is not entirely unpleasant. In fact it >definitely has some aspect of pleasantness to it, and she decides to >look into possible ways to experience it again. But that would have >to wait, as right now she needed to deal with Princess. Princess, meanwhile, was staring around herself in awe. "Wow." Then she looked down. "AAAAH! DAAAAAADDYYYYY!" _Then_ she stopped and thought. "Hey, how can I talk up here?" Then she stared into space in shock. "Hey, how did I _know_ that? I never paid attention to those expensive tutors Daddy bought! But I suppose my subconscious was absorbing the information and the superego stored the data for a time that...AAAHH! I'm a brainiac! DAAAAAAADDYYYYYY!" >Acting at translight speeds, she slows time for Princess, and speeds >it up for herself. Then she grabs Princess, and wraps her in a field >of force hard enough and strong enough to be able to smash through a >black hole without being disturbed at all. Princess sped herself up to speed to match the slowdown without the slightest idea of what she was doing or how she did it. She hadn't noticed the force field yet, and was instead staring at the crater in the moon that Aurora had just vacated. "I wonder if I can get that engraved." >Having confined Princess, Aurora strips the child of her powers, ...and the attempt is deflected by Princess' hyper-enhanced mind and powers. Princess notices this time. "Hey! What're you trying to do? That's not fair!" Princess flew at Aurora -- and smacked right into the force field. "Huh?! A field of subquantum energy formed into a kinetic -- SHUT UP! YOU'RE CONFUSING ME!" She shouted at herself. Then she reared back, concentrating with all her egotism, and breathed in to swing. Before she could punch, however, she _breathed_in_ the force field! "Eww! Yuck! That tastes _terrible!_ I'll show you!" She spat out the force field as a giant field hockey stick, grabbed it, and prepared to swing. At that moment, a pulsing red light began to blink, coming from everywhere and nowhere at once, accompanied by a low whooping sound. A calm female contralto chimed in with, "Warning. Warning. Tooniversal power levels have exceeded maximum limits. Venting of excess energy commencing, now." And with that, a hole appeared in space, sucking Princess and Aurora into it and out of the PPG universe. One universe over... The Taa-II moved toward the Sol system implacably. "Soon. Soon, I must feed again. The Hunger is upon me, and nothing can stop the power of--" *CRASH* Mighty Galactus sighed as his monitor showed a tiny Princess-sized indent and a much larger super-Aurora-sized shape. "And I just had it waxed..." (/) Roland Morgan /|\ "That's all just well enough, because in reality there is only room enough in this world for one Mojo Jojo. One shall be the number of Mojo Jojos in the world, and the number of Mojo Jojos in the world shall be one. Two Mojo Jojos is too many, and three is right out! So the only Mojo Jojo there is room for in the world shall be me! And being the only Mojo Jojo in the world, I will rule the world in which there is only one MOJO JOJO!!" -- Mojo Jojo (duh) ================================= Subject: Re: AAE 8: Collateral Damage Girls(?!)(longish) On Tue, 2 Jul 2002 01:11:09 -0500 Martin and/or Dhyrclhanc Said As CAoL Message # 00010921 Roland wrote... ]> Buttercup smiled evilly and tossed the tape measure aside. "All ]>right, tall, dark and gruesome, LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!" She ]>roared impressively enough to match some of the Monster Isle ]>beasties and charged at Darkzilla. Rob N says... ]>>[Um. I get the feeling that Buttercup's about to demote me from ]>>"chocolate cake" priority to "leftover veggies."] To which Roland replies... ]>>>OOC: And this is a BAD thing? (Well, I'm sure Dhyrclhanc would say ]>>>it is... ;^) At which point Roland's Mind's Ear is assaulted with an exceedingly loud telepathic equivalent of a bronx cheer As if to add insult to injury, somewhere in here, Dane added... ]]>/*"OH, I see. You -expected- a band of inter dimensional do-gooders ]]>to be on hand to help them, like this."*/ Aurora replies as she ]]>bathes the PPGs with healing and revitalizing energies. Magnifying ]]>their powers a dozen fold, at least temporarily. Upon seeing the incoming Brunette PowerPuff Girl, Dhyrkaiju assumes a defensive Martial-Arts stance, but it wasn't easy to do in a several hundred-stories tall body that looked like it was on loan from the Micheline Man (sp?). */I warn you Buttercup, I do not mean you or your city any harm but I will reserve the right to defend myself./* Unfortunately, Buttercup was approaching at a velocity that was pretty much near c. and the words Darkzilla were using were too big anyway. The end result was that I third divot was torn into the streets of Townsville... Hey, does this make us all divot-tees? ... and both Dhyrclhanc and Buttercup would've probably ended up in the adjoining town of Cityville's Bay if Townsville's equivalent to the Chrysler (sp?) building hadn't been smack dab in the middle of Buttercup's exit vector. Instead, the two of them ended up at impacting with the base of the building, which was even taller than "Gojiraranse-San", giving the building a new 15-degree tilt. His eyes now literally aflame, the Kaiju looks down at the PPG, growls again, and sends */You, little lady, need to be taught some manners/*. (need it be said) TBC... ================================= Subject: Re: AAE 8: Collateral Damage Girls(?!) On Tue, 2 Jul 2002 12:12:14 EDT SkyeFire Said As CAoL Message # 00010922 >In a message dated 6/30/02 3:50:11 AM Eastern Daylight Time, rolandx >writes: > Roland, eyes wide, looked at the hose, then gulped and opened his >mouth. Soon, he was shooting around Townsville like the title >character in the kitchen scene at the beginning of "Who Framed Roger >Rabbit." "Bububuphbpbpbpbuhuhuhuhuh!" he cried as he flew through The >Mayor's office, accidentally switching the clothes on The Mayor and >Ms. Bellum, blasted through the Gangreen Gang (turning them a lovely >shade of purple), flattened the Amoeba Boys on one bounce and making >them think they were being arrested (for which they began >congratulating themselves), crashing all around Monster Isle (and >knocking out half the monsters in the process), and finally landing >back where he started right next to the bicycle pump, still >sputtering as air shot out of his mouth. At least he was fully 3-D >again. Somewhere, in whatever corner of the Tooniverse that the Rogers wandered off to sulk --er, "keep everyone else safe from their blindingly obvious galactic incompetence"-- with Rio in tow as their "kamikaze watch," Dead Meat and Mudd suddenly stiffen and sniff the air. "Somewhere," "Somehow," "Dad is having--" "Waaaaay too much fun." Pause. "Well, anyway, back to our punishment. How about--" "Barney music? I dunno... is there a war-crimes tribunal for self-abuse?" ================================= Subject: Re: AAE 8: Collateral Damage Girls(?!) On Tue, 02 Jul 2002 09:28:38 -0700 Rio Lancer Said As CAoL Message # 00010923 >On Tue, 2 Jul 2002 12:12:14 EDT >SkyeFire Said As CAoL Message # 00010922 > > OOC: Thank you :-) > "Well, anyway, back to > our punishment. How > about--" > "Barney music? I dunno... > is there a war-crimes tribunal > for self-abuse?" "ONLY if you listen to it on headphones," Rio comments. "Just because you insist on beating up on yourself...yourselves...whatever, doesn't mean _I_ have to be punished, too." Her slight grin belies her stern tone. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE 8: Collateral Damage Girls(?!) On Tue, 02 Jul 2002 18:54:26 -0700 Roland X Said As CAoL Message # 00010924 >On Tue, 2 Jul 2002 01:11:09 -0500 >Dhyrclhanc Said As CAoL Message # 00010921 > >To which Roland replies... > >]>>> OOC: And this is a BAD thing? (Well, I'm sure Dhyrclhanc would >]>>> say it is... ;^) > >At which point Roland's Mind's Ear is assaulted with an exceedingly >loud telepathic equivalent of a bronx cheer OOC: Roland/Peter stares at his computer, wondering how a "fictional" character did that... ;^) IOW, that appears to have been an IC response to an OOC comment. >Upon seeing the incoming Brunette PowerPuff Girl, Dhyrkaiju assumes a >defensive Martial-Arts stance, but it wasn't easy to do in a several >hundred-stories tall body that looked like it was on loan from the >Micheline Man (sp?). > >*/I warn you Buttercup, I do not mean you or your city any harm but I >will reserve the right to defend myself./* "Huh?" Buttercup mutters as she streaks in, but as usual (for Buttercup, anyway ;^) she figures she can kick monster butt now, figure out weird stuff later. >Unfortunately, Buttercup was approaching at a velocity that was >pretty much near c. and the words Darkzilla were using were too big >anyway. > >The end result was that I third divot was torn into the streets of >Townsville... > > Hey, does this make us all divot-tees? OOC: 8888888888888888 !!! >... and both Dhyrclhanc and Buttercup would've probably ended up in >the adjoining town of Cityville's Bay if Townsville's equivalent to >the Chrysler (sp?) building hadn't been smack dab in the middle of >Buttercup's exit vector. "Wow! I knew I was tough, but THAT was HARDCORE!" Buttercup exulted. While she floated there above the building-imbedded Dhyrkaiju, she looked him over. The tough 'Puff cocked her head to one side and looked thoughtful. "You know, in the right light he kinda looks like Aku from 'Samurai Jack.' Now _that_ would be cool!" >Instead, the two of them ended up at impacting with the base of the >building, which was even taller than "Gojiraranse-San", giving the >building a new 15-degree tilt. Buttercup, noticing this, evacuates the building in between milliseconds. >His eyes now literally aflame, the Kaiju looks down at the PPG, >growls again, and sends */You, little lady, need to be taught some >manners/*. "Oh, yeah, _I'm_ rude, not like monsters who try to eat OUR CITY!" Buttercup snarled back, angry enough to not notice that she's responding to someone talking in her head. "I'm serving up _humble_pie,_ Aku-zilla! Get it while it's _hot._" Diving down, she swooped around and up to streak towards Dhyrkaiju's jaw for one killer uppercut... TBC (aka ball's back in your court, Big Guy! ) (Hey, it could be worse...you could have been pounded into a mass of shattered pulp by _Princess._ ;^) (/) Roland "Hey! What's wrong with you girls? You're supposed to start crying when we hit you!" --Brick of the Rowdyruff Boys ================================= Subject: Re: AAE 8: Collateral Damage Girls(?!) On Tue, 2 Jul 2002 21:41:12 -0700 (PDT) Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010925 >Roland X Said As CAoL Message # 00010918 > >>On Sat, 29 Jun 2002 21:06:49 -0700 (PDT) >>Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010917 >> >> "I'm Fuzzy Lumpkin, and I'm here ta squash the Powerpuff Girls. >>But I'm warmin' up on -you-." >> >> Rob dodged the debris as the announcer began a voice-over: "Oh, >>no. Does this herald the Second Brutish Invasion? Will Him return to >>re-unite the Beat-Alls?" > > "Are you KIDDING?" Him blurted, safe in his lair in Heck (and >watching the battle on TV). "I'm going to Waikiki, find Felix Faust >and get drunk on mai-tais with him. No more fighting heroes for _me_ >today, no sirree..." The announcer let out a puff of air. "That's a relief." [All I have to do is deal with a fuzzy pink redneck that throws big rocks...hm. I wonder if he's as dumb as the stereotype redneck?] Rob dodged the next chunk of debris, then said, "Hey, Lumpkin! Is that the biggest you can throw at me?" "Um, no," Fuzzy replied, scrounging up a larger piece of concrete and throwing it at Rob. "Come on, you can do better than that," the CAoLer goaded. "How about...ungh...THIS!" A rock about the size of a sedan shattered the road at Rob's feet. "You're telling me that's all you can lift?" "No...ugh...how'bout...urg...this," Fuzzy Lumpkin grunted, lifting a piece of debris about the size of a Greyhound bus. "Perfect," Rob replied, as he jumped on top of the debris. Lumpkin's knees began to tremble. Then his arms. Then his whole body. Finally, he collapsed under the combined weight. "I take it back. This guy is dumber than -any- redneck in existence." ================================= Subject: Re (for "Retcon"): AAE 8: From Guardians to Powerpuffs On Tue, 2 Jul 2002 22:40:43 -0500 Martin and/or Dhyrclhanc Said As CAoL Message # 00010926 (time and place: In-between the "Guardians of the Night" and "From Guardians to Powerpuffs" thread) As his Troth-Siblings are jumping through the plot-hole provided by the Gargoyle-verse's version of the Faerie King, Dhyrclhanc was bidding his adieus. "Hudson, Goliath, nice to have seen you again, even if it was for the first time." He shook the hands of the two confused looking Defenders of the Night. "Your majesty," he continues, "Far be it for me to tell you what to do, but might I recommend that the next time you encounter your servant Puck, you might want to give him a stern lecture about sticking to one's agreements." ------ After Dhyrclhanc made the leap to the "Powerpuff- verse", Goliath turned to Hudson, "Do you know who that was, Hudson?" "Nay lad, although there was something oddly familiar about him..." ================================= Subject: Re: AAE 8: Collateral Damage Girls(?!)(possibly longish) On Wed, 3 Jul 2002 20:51:56 -0500 Martin and/or Dhyrclhanc Said As CAoL Message # 00010927 Take 2! Confused? Don't worry about it; I ended up never posting "Take 1". >On Tue, 02 Jul 2002 Roland X Said > >>Dhyrclhanc Said As CAoL Message # 00010921 >> >>Instead, the two of them ended up at impacting with the base of the >>building, which was even taller than "Gojiraranse-San", giving the >>building a new 15-degree tilt. > > Buttercup, noticing this, evacuates the building in between >milliseconds. [Such a sense of responsibility in one so young,] quietly quiped Dhyrclhanc to himself, at aproximately the same time and within the same durration [It's a pity then that she's only in nursery school and about 45 times younger than I am... ] However on the outside... >>His eyes [were] now literally aflame, the Kaiju looks down at the >>PPG, growls again, and sends */You, little lady, need to be taught >>some manners/*. > > "Oh, yeah, _I'm_ rude, not like monsters who try to eat OUR CITY!" >Buttercup snarled back, angry enough to not notice that she's >responding to someone talking in her head. "I'm serving up >_humble_pie,_ Aku-zilla! Get it while it's _hot._" Diving down, she >swooped around and up to streak towards Dhyrkaiju's jaw for one >killer uppercut... > >(aka ball's back in your court, Big Guy! ) > >(Hey, it could be worse...you could have been pounded into a mass of >shattered pulp by _Princess._ ;^) Hehehehe, watch and learn sib, watch and learn... ... an incoming Doppler-whine made both of them look towards the source of the noise and both of them saw the incoming missiles fired earlier from the DyNaMo. [Ah yes, the missiles from the DyNaMo... ] thought Dhyrclhanc. */For the record, little girl, I never tried to take a bite out of anything./* Dhyrclhanc sent at high-speed with an incredible rate of compression */This, on the other hand, might hurt just a little... /* Dhyrlhanc acted faster than the miniature 'Puff could react and with one swift chomp completely enclosed her within his extended jaw just before they both disappeared in the suddenly expanding fireball. The Giant Lensdragon's form curled into a fetal position just minutes before the first missiles struck. The effect was even more impressive, for lack of a more appropriate term, as a few of the incoming missiles actually detached themselves from the rest of the swarm before impact, traveled further down several blocks and then turned around for a second volley. Several flashes of light could be seen inside the multiple explosions and then the building toppled completely with a loud "boom", 90-degrees around the X-axis from the pre-existing tilt. */_That_, young lady, I suspect just might be going to come out of your allowance./* A glow like a neon light plugged into an atomic pile poured out of the resulting clouds of debris. Then time seemed to run in reverse as the mass of dust and soot and ash imploded back on itself revealing the still-untouched, several-hundred-story-tall Kaiju- Dhyrclhanc, shining like a hunter's-moon. When the glow died down, Buttercup was revealed, now being held tenderly sheltered in a pair of hands, each of which the size of a greyhound bus. ...And on one the finger of one of them was a still glowing Golden-Age Green Lantern Ring easily the size of a VW Beetle. /Well. _That's_ never happened before... / sent Dhyrclhanc, his mental voice obviously non-plused. Next! ================================= Subject: AAE8: Seige, Aye. On Mon, 8 Jul 2002 18:49:56 -0400 Mike Knight Said As CAoL Message # 00010928 Nick and Donkey stood looking at Duloc from a hill on the outskirts of town. "Wow, you one brave dude, Nick," Donkey said, "Goin' ta confront Lord Farquaad and get all the fairy tale creatures back." "Well, I figure the fastest way to find out if a friend of mine's kids have been through here is to find the magic mirror and ask him and to do that, I have to get the magic mirror away from Lord Farquaad, and I can't very well pluck him from the clutchs of doom and not pull out the other folks. Besides, you say the townsfolk don't want to go back to being lorded over, but Farquaad's army and such need some way to earn a living, which is why they went back to work for Farquaad." Donkey nodded, "Yeah, they ain't so bad long as they got something to do, but get 'em hungry and bored and they'll work for anybody. Hey, how we gonna get in there, anyway?" "Well, I've got an idea about that." "And, what're we gonna do once we free everybody and defeat Lord Farquaad?" Nick smiled, "Well, I got an idea about that, too, which you're gonna have to tell everybody, so listen close..." In the castle dungeon, Lord Farquaad scowled at Fiona. "Hideous, I can't believe I was about to marry you." "I can't believe I was about to marry -you-." "HA! I'm the perfect beau." "If you don' let us go raht now," Shrek growled, "Ah'll make ya inta a bow alright, just like a ribbon on a present." "At least Donkey's still free," Fiona said. "Hi guys!" Donkey said, coming down the stairs, led on a chain by one of Farquaad's armored knights, "I came to rescue you." "Oh, aye," Shrek sighed, "And yer doin' a fine job o' that." Farquaad chuckled, "Well, that's the last of you fairy tale creatures. Since we can't seem to evict you, we'll keep you here in the dungeons for the rest of your days. It's not the perfect solution, but we will be rid of you all, eventually." The guard led Donkey into a cage next to the muzzled dragon and slammed the door. Farquaad laughed triumphantly. Until the guard struck Farquaad over the head with the pommel of his sword. As Farquaad fell like a sack of cement, the other two guards moved in to detain the offending knight. The knight turned, the guards lunged and passed straight through their target, striking each other square in the noggin resoundingly. They fell on top of Farquaad, who'd just been regaining consciousness only to be pinned under their bulks. The suit of armor around Nick shimmered into a royal purple suit with matching shirt and tie. He tied up the guards and Farquaad with the rope Donkey fetched him, who hadn't actually been locked in the cage after all. "Who're you?" Shrek and Fiona asked together. "Oh, where are my manners?" Donkey apologized, "Princess, Shrek, this is Nick. Nick, this is Princess Fiona and Shrek." Nick said, "Hi," as he removed the manacles from Fiona, then Shrek, "I just stopped by looking for a couple kids when I heard of your plight and came to help. Now, where're they keeping the rest of the fairy tale folk? I need to talk to the magic mirror." "What about Farquaad?" Fiona asked. Donkey smiled, "No problem, Princess, just help me get Dragon free and we'll take care of him. Oh, and I gotta tell you this plan of Nick's, it's a beautiful idea, just beautiful." "Let's go before he gets up a full head of steam and we can never shut him up," Shrek said, motioning for Mick to follow while the others took care of freeing Dragon. "Well, I can't say that they've been here, I'm afraid," the magic mirror said with a shake of the head, "Sorry I couldn't be of more help." Nick nodded, "That's okay, it was a shot in the dark anyway." He turned and looked at all Farquaad's men. "Now, you all have two choices, you can work for the city's new mayor, or you can go with Farquaad and the Dragon and have a little vacation which you won't be coming back from." "Mayor!" the guards chorused. "Good," Donkey said, "Now, first thing you're all going to do is start tearing down Farquaad's castle, stone by stone. You'll be taking that and building a wall around the whole town. When you're done with that, there'll be some farmers who need help harvesting, town watch which you all will alternate on, and whatever else the new mayor thinks of to keep you busy." "Who's going to be the new mayor?" Shrek asked. "Donkey," Nick prompted as Dragon and Fiona flew overhead. "Oh, right. Ahem, and now, without further ado, I nominate for your new town mayor, Princess Fiona!" "What? Me?" Fiona said, dismounting Dragon's neck. "I'll second the nomination!" Shrek said, relieved it wouldn't be him. "Shrek, wait, no!" Fiona blurted. "Any other nominations?" Nick asked. "Oh, come on, you guys, please?" Fiona begged. There was restrained silence in the crowd. "All in favor?" Pinnochio called. "Aye!" everyone shouted, even the guards after a look from Shrek. Fiona looked aghast. "Don't worry," Nick grinned, "It's not for life. You've just got the best idea of what a ruler ought to be. Once you've set everything up, resign." "Speaking of rulers, what happened to Lord Farquaad?" Shrek asked. Farquaad ran through the fire-scortched castle to the front door. "Ha! 'We'll bring you food and water,' she said. 'You can spend the rest of your life here instead of a dragon's stomach,' she said. Well! Lord Farquaad is not going to spend his days in some wretched excuse for a castle. Once I'm through these doors, I'll be free!" Bursting through said portal, Lord Farquaad slowed, "Oh my, it is warm here, and that smell is ghastly! But nevermind, there's the way out!" He ran toward the burnt wooden posts driven upright into the ground, sure it was a bridge. Approaching the edge however, he skidded to a halt. The bridge was gone and below him a lake of fiery lava. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" Farquaad screamed as he recognized at last the former home of Princess Fiona. "Don't worry, we'll treat him better than he treated anyone else," Fiona told Nick, "Not that that's hard. Maybe in forty years, we'll even let him out if he's been good." Nick nodded, the reassurance hadn't been needed, he knew Fiona was a compassionate person already. "Well, thanks for the help," Shrek said, "Ah don't say this often, but stop by if yer in the neighborhood." Nick nodded, vanishing in the glitter of a transporter beam. Nick appeared on a cliff on the side of a volcano, a river of lava flowing down to a pool at the bottom then traveling out into small rivers amidst islands of solid rock, some tiny, some big enough to hold cities. Ahead of him, a creature that looked like some sort of canine crawled out of the molten stream and growled at him. "Ah, a lava dog," Nick said, pleased, "This must indeed by Planet Fire." ================================= Subject: AAE8: Grepping the Tooniverse On Mon, 8 Jul 2002 20:03:56 -0400 Mike Knight Said As CAoL Message # 00010929 The small, single story house wasn't any different from any of the others on the block, but according to the phone book, this was the place. Grep rang the bell. "Coming," a voice said from inside, then a man opened the door a moment later. "Well, hello there!" the man said, trying to be suave. "Are you John Arbuckle?" Grep asked. John leaned nonchalantly on the door frame, "Why yes, yes I am, and who might you be?" Grep didn't answer, instead asking, "Do you have a fat, orange cat with black stripes?" John's tone immediately changed to one of resignation as he stopped trying to look dashing and stepped out onto the front stoop. "What's Garfield done now?" "Nothing, I just need to ask him a few questions." John looked confused. *Someone call me?* Garfield thought, looking up at John and Grep. Grep looked down, replying with the thought, *Yes, I did.* Now Garfield looked confused, *You heard me?* *Yes, I am looking for two toddlers, a boy and a girl. On the theory that everything in this universe of an exciting nature seems to happen here, I have come to ask if you have seen them.* *Uh huh,* Garfield thought, suddenly shifting to his normal look, indifference, *No, haven't seen any kids.* *Is there anywhere else that might be worth checking?* Garfield got a smile on his face, *Maybe... I -could- call someone else who has lots of excitement in his life... but what'll I get if I do?* Grep frowned. *What do you want in return for making the call?* Garfield grinned, *How about two pans of lasagna, one for each kid?* Grep nodded. *Agreed.* Garfield gestured into the house, *After you.* Grep entered and Garfield shut the door. John stared at the door. "Ever get the feeling that there's a whole world going on all around you but you're not in on any of it?" he asked no one. Later, Grep thought, *The lasagnas will be ready in a minute, please place your phone call.* *Right,* Garfield said, picking up the phone and dialing a number. {Hello? Orson speaking.} *Hello, Orson, this is Garfield, have a couple little kids shown up at your place, human kids?* {No, can't say that they have.} *Okay, thanks, bye.* The timer dinged as Garfield hung up the phone. Grep pulled two lasagna pans out of the oven. *Thank you,* she said, setting them down in front of the cat. Garfield sniffed the pans happily, *Hey, no problem, see ya later.* He immediately dove into eating from the first pan, with both paws, not stopping to swallow, let alone chew. Grep passed John as he sat reading a newspaper. He looked up. "You're leaving?" John asked. "Yes. Thank you for your hospitality." "Uhm, you're welcome." Grep left. John stared after her. "Somedays, it's just better not to ask." The water passing over her body again was something Zora hadn't realized just how acutely she missed swimming in the sea. Her body moved through the water like a cross between an eel and a dolphin, her body rippling in controlled waves, propelling her from the surface into the depths of the ocean. A light shone at the sea floor and as Zora approached, the light revealed itself to be a series of miniature lights from tiny buildings, much smaller than any she'd seen before. A small green creature propelled itself up towards her and she slowed to meet it. "Excuse me," Zora asked it, "Have you seen a pair of human children, perhaps a fourth my length, who show a real desire to be heros and beat up bad guys?" The green creature, which vaguely reminded Zora of a broccoli floret, shrugged and made a honking noise from the tube atop his head. Zora paused, uncertain, "Is that a no?" The little honking thing nodded. Zora nodded, "Well, thank you for your time." It honked and waved. Keri-Ohki hovered over the ocean surface, waiting. Zora burst out of the water with a spectacular spray, flying high into the air on her momentum, and was caught in the cabbit ship's tractor beam and brought aboard. Grep offered a towel, but Zora declined, saying, "For my people, dry is undesirable. The children haven't been here." "Let's move on then," Grep replied. The smurfs watched the figure descend from the sky gracefully, saying the requisite "Ooooo. Ahhhh." Brainy hid behind Hefty, "What's wrong with you smurfs, she could be dangerous!" Papa Smurf shook his head, "Now, now, Brainy, smurf yourself, we don't know anysmurf about this creature. I must say, I've never smurfed anything like it." The winged creature knelt and smiled "Hello, my name's Inyu. I'm looking for a pair of human children about half my size who want to uhm, be heroes. I thought they might have passed this way." Papa Smurfed hmmed, "Well, Inyu, I'm Papa Smurf and these are my little Smurfs. I haven't smurfed of anysmurf like you were smurfing about, but if one of my little Smurfs smurfs about it, we'll smurf you." Inyu looked mildly confused. She said, "You haven't heard of anyone like I was talking about, but if one of your people hears about it, you'll call me?" Papa Smurf nodded, "Yes, that's it." Inyu nodded, "Well, uhm, smurf you very smurf, I'll be smurfing now." She held up a small, silver bracelet to her mouth and said, "Keri-Ohki, I'm ready to go." As the tractor beam took her to the ship, Hefty remarked, "Did anysmurf know what she was trying to smurf?" Brainy started to answer, but realized he couldn't figure it out either, and wasn't in the mood to be tossed out of the village for the fifth time that day. "I'm not entirely smurf about that mysmurf," Papa Smurf answered, "But she was smurfing to be polite." Inyu, within Keri-Ohki's interior, was also confused, "I could barely understand them, but the answer was a no, I'm sure." Grep nodded with a very faint smirk, "Get us the smurf out of here then." "Please don't say that word again," Inyu lamented, taking a seat in the pilot's chair. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE 8: Collateral Damage Girls On Mon, 08 Jul 2002 20:46:15 -0700 Roland X Said As CAoL Message # 00010930 >On Wed, 3 Jul 2002 20:51:56 -0500 >Dhyrclhanc Said As CAoL Message # 00010927 > >>On Tue, 02 Jul 2002 Roland X Said >> >>>Dhyrclhanc Said As CAoL Message # 00010921 > >[Ah yes, the missiles from the DyNaMo... ] thought Dhyrclhanc. "Aw, man, not again," Buttercup sighed. >*/For the record, little girl, I never tried to take a bite out of >anything./* Dhyrclhanc sent at high-speed with an incredible rate of >compression */This, on the other hand, might hurt just a little... /* Buttercup was so hyped that she was actually able to react, in spite of the ultra-fast bandwidth. "YeayeaI'llpoundyouinasecondIgottagosaveTownsvillefromtheProfessor'sdo ofyroboHEY!" >Dhyrlhanc acted faster than the miniature 'Puff could react and with >one swift chomp completely enclosed her within his extended jaw just >before they both disappeared in the suddenly expanding fireball. The >Giant Lensdragon's form curled into a fetal position just minutes >before the first missiles struck. Buttercup frowned and crossed her arms (her default pose ;^) as she realized it was dark, moist, and not the most pleasant-smelling place she'd ever been in (radioactive death-breath will do that ). Then a diabolic smile began to form on her face. "Hey, tall, dark and gruesome! Ya know what happened to the _last_ monster that did this to me?" But as Buttercup contemplates emergency dental work on the Big Guy... >The effect was even more impressive, for lack of a more appropriate >term, as a few of the incoming missiles actually detached themselves >from the rest of the swarm before impact, traveled further down >several blocks and then turned around for a second volley. Buttercup watched her impacted "prison" shudder around her. "Hmmph. Not the brightest monster on the block, is he?" Deciding a "32-to-16" approach to the root of her problem was insufficiently dramatic, she began a super-vision examination of her enameled obstacle. (OOC: "Lithten, bub. Ya got 32 teeth. Ya wanna try for 16?" --Daffy Duck ) >Several flashes of light could be seen inside the multiple explosions >and then the building toppled completely with a loud "boom", >90-degrees around the X-axis from the pre-existing tilt. > >*/_That_, young lady, I suspect just might be going to come out of >your allowance./* "Eh, I'll just put it back together over recess like we always do," Buttercup commented nonchalantly. A quick X-ray scan later, she smiled and aimed herself at the skull. >A glow like a neon light plugged into an atomic pile poured out of >the resulting clouds of debris. > >Then time seemed to run in reverse as the mass of dust and soot and >ash imploded back on itself revealing the still-untouched, >several-hundred-story-tall Kaiju- Dhyrclhanc, shining like a >hunter's-moon. Buttercup paused just before giving everyone's favorite Sentinel-Lensdragon the ultimate headache. Her enhanced vision powers allowed her to watch the reverse-explosion. "Cool! That was better than the 'sand wall' thing from The Mummy!" >When the glow died down, Buttercup was revealed, now being held >tenderly sheltered in a pair of hands, each of which the size of a >greyhound bus. > >...And on one the finger of one of them was a still glowing >Golden-Age Green Lantern Ring easily the size of a VW Beetle. > >/Well. _That's_ never happened before... / sent Dhyrclhanc, his >mental voice obviously non-plused. "Hey, can you do that again? That was HARDCORE! I--" Buttercup blinked and stared at the GL ring. "Yo, Akuzilla, why are you wearing a really old green flashlight the size of a car?" At this point BlossoMorgan flew up. "Because anything smaller than that wouldn't fit on his finger?" she said, pointing out the obvious. Buttercup again put on the "frown and cross arms" pose, floating several inches off of Dhyrkaiju's hands. "Well _duh,_ little miss perfect..." She grew thoughtful for a moment. "...what does Mojo Jojo call that...drull?...yeah, that's it -- what I _meant_ was, why is he wearing a flashlight at _all_ when he's got glowing fire breath?" She then looked up at the Big Guy again. "Hey, do I still haveta beat you up? You're kinda cool, so if I don't that's okay too." Bubbles floated up last, regarding the Gogira-ed-out Lensdragon with a little trepidation. "Um, thanks for helping save the day, Mr. Big Scary Dragon Lizard Samurai-Jack Person," she said in a superhumanly cute voice. OOC: Pong! Volley to you, sib, but it looks like we're just about wrapping up. Which reminds me... The 60s cartoon Marvel-verse. "Go forth, my herald, and rid me of this nuisance. Oh, and when you're done, invite Aurora in for tea. It looks like she's had a long day," Galactus commanded. "Yes, o mighty Galactus," the Silver Surfer intoned solemnly, summoning his cosmic board and zooming out toward the disturbance. Upon confronting Princess, he thrust out one hand in a "stop" gesture. "Hold! You meddle in affairs of cosmic import! This is the dread worldship of the Devourer of Worlds, the great Gala--" Norrin began. "Oh, SHUT UP!" Princess snarled. She glared at the Surfer, and a single eyebeam sent the Herald of Galactus into the nearest solar system. "Now someone tell me WHERE I AM and HOW I GET HOME! _NOW!_" Galactus stared in shock. "How can this be? A mere stripling defeat my Herald?!" A quick glance to a Cosmic Scanner told him all he needed to know. "O calamity! A denizen of one of the realms from which the Impossible Man springs! And she is empowered with twin cosmic mights! And yet, as a foolish child (and a spoiled one at that), she is as an insect become a god!" Galactus summoned to him fearful weapons from across the cosmos and enhanced his nigh-invincible armor with energy fields constructed from sciences older than the universe. "I must face this enfant terrible myself." With that, mighty Galactus arose from a circular platform in his worldship, one that might have held a city. "BEHOLD, child! You have roused supreme Galactus himself!" the Devourer boomed, and the substance of subspace itself shook with his might. ^My most humble apologies,^ he added to Aurora, ^for this inhospitable welcome. It is rare indeed that I meet an equal in my travels. But this nanoscopic nuisance must be dealt with.^ "FI-nally, someone in charge! Now you listen to me," Princess began, boggling Galactus. (Even the most oblivious usually realize that they're dealing with a cosmic entity while speaking to the Devourer of Worlds. 8^) "My daddy is a _very_ important man, so you better tell me where I am and how I can hire a limo to get back home, NOW!" Galactus stared for long moments. The equal of Eternity and Death gaped at this child's fearless affrontery. Then he began to laugh. This, finally, shook some complacency out of Princess. People roaring at her she's used to -- she just yells louder. But even the Powerpuff Girls rarely laugh at her. "H-hey, what do you think you're--" "Amazing! Astounding! Child, you have impressed Galactus -- and I am not an entity easily impressed," Galactus intoned. "Oh, well," Princess said, coming as close to modesty as she ever did (meaning looking at her fingernails nonchalantly rather than bellowing at the top of her lungs or sounding as smug as a dozen stoned cats), "DA-ddy says it comes from good breeding." "Whatever," Galactus replied. "Norrin. Take the year off. I'm hiring a temporary replacement. Child...'Princess Morbucks...' _you_ are the new Herald of Galactus!" "Hey, _I_ don't need a summer job or anything. My DA-ddy has all the money I neeEEEEE!" Princess screamed as Galactus slowly pointed a device that looked like a gun the size of the Townsville Needle at her. "Watch it! I've got SUPER-powers!" As Galactus' beam shot at her, she countered with her own enhanced might. The two beams met...and stopped. "HA!" Princess gloated. Galactus looked unconcerned. "Three...two...one..." And guess what wore off at that exact moment? ================================= Subject: Re: AAE 8: Collateral Damage Girls On Wed, 10 Jul 2002 20:47:34 -0500 Martin and/or Dhyrclhanc Said As CAoL Message # 00010931 >On Mon, 8 Jul 2K2 Roland X Said >>Dhyrclhanc Said >>The effect was even more impressive, for lack of a more appropriate >>term, as a few of the incoming missiles actually detached themselves >>from the rest of the swarm before impact, traveled further down >>several blocks and then turned around for a second volley. > > Buttercup watched her impacted "prison" shudder around her. >"Hmmph. Not the brightest monster on the block, is he?" Deciding a >"32-to-16" approach to the root of her problem was insufficiently >dramatic, she began a super-vision examination of her enameled >obstacle. At which point a brief scan with even her hyped-up super-senses told her that even with her newly super-charged heat-ray-vision, it'd still take the good part of a week to get through this giant monster's dental work. at 21' tall, Dhyrclhanc's chompers, along with most of the rest of him, have roughly twice the tensile strength of pure tooled iron, at 200 stories tall... I don't even want to do the math... > (OOC: "Lithten, bub. Ya got 32 teeth. Ya wanna try for 16?" >--Daffy Duck ) > Buttercup paused just before giving everyone's favorite >Sentinel-Lensdragon the ultimate headache. Her enhanced vision powers >allowed her to watch the reverse-explosion. "Cool! That was better >than the 'sand wall' thing from The Mummy!" */You mean the Professor lets you watch those kinds of movies?/* >>/Well. _That's_ never happened before... / sent Dhyrclhanc, his >>mental voice obviously non-plused. > > "Hey, can you do that again? That was HARDCORE! I--" Buttercup >blinked and stared at the GL ring. "Yo, Akuzilla, why are you wearing >a really old green flashlight the size of a car?" > >At this point BlossoMorgan flew up. "Because anything smaller than >that wouldn't fit on his finger?" she said, pointing out the obvious. > > Buttercup again put on the "frown and cross arms" pose, floating >several inches off of Dhyrkaiju's hands. "Well _duh,_ little miss >perfect..." She grew thoughtful for a moment. "...what does Mojo Jojo >call that...droll?...yeah, that's it -- what I _meant_ was, why is he >wearing a flashlight at _all_ when he's got glowing fire breath?" She >then looked up at the Big Guy again. "Hey, do I still haveta beat you >up? You're kinda cool, so if I don't that's okay too." */Personally, _I'd_ rather you didn't, and I'm wearing the "flashlight" as you call it because I'm a Green Lantern. Don't you watch that new "Justice League" cartoon?/* > Bubbles floated up last, regarding the Gogira-ed-out Lensdragon >with a little trepidation. "Um, thanks for helping save the day, Mr. >Big Scary Dragon Lizard Samurai-Jack Person," she said in a >superhumanly cute voice. */You're welcome, Bubbles, but my name is Duh-ghlcranz... ah Tiamat, I can't say it. Hold on a second./* The Big Guy prepares to shape-shift into a more presentable form, when a huge ink eraser, held in an equally large hand comes in from the right side of the frame and completely erases him. Then the same hand, holding a fountain-pen, re-draws him more to scale to Roland and Professor Utonium. But it was weird enough that he's dressed in a pair of urban-camo pants, a black spandex jacket, a psychadelic paisely-print neru jacket and a gold-colored turtle-neck shirt but Dhyrclhanc, himself, appeared to have more in common with Phil Foglio's plush "Winslow" than he does to his normal "T'Skrang" form. Also he had on a head-band and a long-hair wig that looked like it came straight from Woodstock (No, _not_ Snoopy's friend). All of which left Buttercup still floating several hundred stories up in the air. Dhyrclhanc looked-up and took both the wig and the head-band off of his head and then looked skywards. "I don't do wigs," he said calmly, albeit loudly. Inwardly, however, he was happy to finally be able to hear his own voice. The giant hand with the ink-eraser appeared and removed the wig. "That's better." "Now then," he said looking at Bubbles, "You can call me 'Dark-Lance'." > The 60s cartoon Marvel-verse. Or a strange amalgamation of the "Not Brand Ecch" and "Fred Hembeck" versions of the Marvel Universe. > "Whatever," Galactus replied. "Norrin. Take the year off. I'm >hiring a temporary replacement. Child...'Princess Morbucks...' _you_ >are the new Herald of Galactus!" > > "Hey, _I_ don't need a summer job or anything. My DA-ddy has all >the money I neeEEEEE!" Princess screamed as Galactus slowly pointed a >device that looked like a gun the size of the Townsville Needle at >her. "Watch it! I've got SUPER-powers!" As Galactus' beam shot at >her, she countered with her own enhanced might. The two beams >met...and stopped. "HA!" Princess gloated. > > Galactus looked unconcerned. "Three...two...one..." > > And guess what wore off at that exact moment? CCOTO/LTBAGI! ================================= Subject: AAE 8: Tooning Around with Tink On Mon, 29 Jul 2002 10:49:28 -0400 Mike Knight Said As CAoL Message # 00010932 "Long ago in a distant land I, Aku, the shapeshifting master of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil. But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future where my evil is law. Now the fool seeks to return to the past and undo the future that is Aku." Tink scowled at the landscape, stepping forward out of the portal. Her form had shifted, becoming angular, feminine, but in a highly simplified charicature of herself. Her faintly yellow hair was pulled up into a top-knot, her skin golden brown, with almond-shaped eyes with light grey, pupiless irises. Her face was heartshaped, her limbs long and straight. She wore a black shirt and black pants, a very simplistic rendition of light grey chainmail draped over her chest like a tunic that hung down to her knees like a skirt, with a black belt at the waist, and light grey boots and gauntlets at her wrists, all some sort of cartoon metal. On her belt hung a sheathed Japanese katana. Tink closed her eyes briefly, various systems analysing this world. After the Tooniverse had taken her from the Pokemon universe, she'd fought the transformers with her mom, then passed off her Pokemon to Melissa and Walkabout to take home while she went on. Her next portan had brought her to a forboding jungle, where she'd encountered a man named Lord Ashram and a Grey Witch. She'd taken her leave of them quickly enough, realizing that place was far from where she'd intended to go. It was there her clothes had shifted to an anime version of their current form, suiting the world, all magic, no technology. Here, her computers were back at her disposal, though magic was still much stronger a weapon, thus why the sword was still on her belt. "Great technology, greater magic, time travel is possible, physical laws are cartoonish, bending towards those best suited for physical action, drama and violence, though humor is still acceptable, death is possible, an afterlife is present... very interesting." A noise caught her attention, well below normal hearing range. She reached for her sword, the woods around her could be hiding anything. A figure in white robes burst from the bushes, a hand on the scabbard of his own sword as he ran. He looked intent on reaching something, but that changed as he entered the clearing. Stopping as he cleared the treeline, he stood in amazement, staring at Tink. But no, he was staring behind her. She looked over her shoulder and saw it. The portal. In this reality, it was a cone of black and white, swirling toward a centerpoint. "Did-did you try to defeat Aku as well?" the man asked in a soft Japanese accent. "No," Tink replied, warily, "I came here on my own, though I wasn't expecting to arrive here, I was trying to arrive somewhere else." She straightened a bit, dismissing the portal, which vanished. "You can travel in time?" "Yes..." Tink said slowly. The man in white fell to his knees, "Please, you must help me return to my own time. This land is held in the grip of an evil sorceror named Aku. He cast me forward from my own time to this accursed place. If I could return to my own time, I could defeat Aku and ensure this horrible future would not come to be." Tink thought about it a moment. "May I look into your mind to see if your words are true?" she asked him. He seemed genuine, but she had to be sure. The man nodded, staying where he was. Tink stepped forward and placed a hand on his cheek. She saw a man raised from an infant to be a great warrior, who fought a terrible battle against a shapeshifting demon taller than the trees, dressed all in black. She saw the clawed hand fling him through a portal like her own, his arrival in the future and his battles since then, all to stop this wizard Aku. He called himself Jack here, he was pure of heart, iron of will and a kind and gentle soul. Tink nodded, taking her hand away, "Yes, Jack, I will help you go back to defeat Aku. This world should have never-" A sound caught both their attentions, coming from all sides. From Jack's mind Tink knew, as he did, they were Aku's robot forces. An army of giant black beetles, easily twice as tall as either of them, tore through the trees around them, scythe-like front claws slicing the ancient trunks like so much butter. Behind them came larger insect machines, like black praying mantises, with more scythe-like claws, but additionally, gun ports and missile racks springing into form. "We're outnumbered," Tink said, drawing her sword as Jack did, "I can't make your portal home without risking these things go through, too." "Then we must defeat them first," Jack concluded, the army of insects reflected in his raised katana. Back to back as they gauged their eneny's strength, both chose to leap into the fray at the same time in opposite directions. Jack's sword flashed as he sliced through the beetle advancing on his position. Iink leapt over another beetle, stabbing downward into its body and striking the power pack. Both beetles exploded. The mantis gun turrets erupted around Tink and Jack as they ran, ducking and weaving between the beetles, who were struck down by their mantis allies. Dodging scythe-claws and bullets, Jack sliced off the left-side legs of one of the mantises, who fell sideways, its bullet spray sent into another mantis, who fell to earth. That mantis's missile launchers fired moments before it exploded. With the air full of heat-seeking missiles, Tink and Jack found themselves in an even more dangerous predicament. Jack sliced one in half as it careened toward him, the halves detonating when they struck a pair of beetles advancing on him from the rear. Tinkerbell dodged a missile and cut off one of its tailfins. Spinning wildly, it deflected two more missiles into a pair of mantises before detonating as it struck a squad of robot beetles. Meanwhile, Jack was hacking his way through the robot beetles, who weren't fairing well, falling before his magic blade like paper dolls before a pair of scissors. Tink was using the final mantis to take ont the rest of the beetles while she whittled away at the robot monster with her sword. Jack turned, covered in oil, with his kimono in tatters, to see Tink take the final leap, intent on striking the mantis a death blow by chopping off its head. "No!" Jack shouted, too late, as Tink's blade sliced easily through the neck of the mechanical mantis, which promptly shot into the air. Tink landed in a crouch beside him as he turned away to avoid the explosion of the mantis behind them. "I learned from the builders of those robots," Jack explained, "The head, if detached thus, can inform Aku of events here so that he will send reinforcements." Tink scowled, standing, "Then we don't have much time." "No time at all, in fact," came another voice, the voice of Aku, as a shadow taller than the surrounding hills loomed over them. A beam of energy shot past Jack's head, and he turned to identify the source. "Aku!" Jack exclaimed. "Yes, samurai, it is I, Aku," the demon's voice boomed over the landscape, "For you see, I already knew of your plan to return home. It came to me in a dream, a woman of great power, as strong as my own, would visit this land from another place and extend to you your way back to the past. Worse than a dream, this nightmare said that should the two of you stand together, you would be unstoppable. I knew that if I were to let her act, I would be defeated, so I sent my warriors here to stop you until I could arrive." "But we do stand together, you have failed," Jack replied. "Look again, foolish warrior." Next to Jack, Tink was frozen within a translucent crystal. Jack's eyes narrowed. "MONSTER!" the samurai screamed, leaping into the air, sword drawn to strike at Aku. The sorceror narrowly avoided the blade, scooping up the crystal containing Tinkerbell, then leapt well out of reach of thw warrior. "Careful, samurai, or your new ally may be injured," Aku scolded, holding up Tink's prison. "Already her energy is attempting to shatter her bonds, the forces at her command weakening my own spell of containment. Soon she will be free," Aku marveled, then bringing his arm back in preparation to hurl the gem, "but not before I place her beyond your grasp, samurai." Jack rushed Aku, but the wizard had already tore open another portal and flung Tink into it. The shapeshifting spellcaster changed himself into a bird and flew away, laughing at Jack, left alone in a field of destroyed machinary. Meanwhile, within the black and white spiraling void, Tink finally managed to shatter her crystaline container, but the effort left her weak and she immediately went limp. The spiraling tunnel forked then, her body flung off one way, her mind another. The city of Townsville... and all the Townsville Townie's tongue are wagging at the recent chaos churned up by the arrival of the Callahanian Army of Light. As if things weren't complicated enough around here... Tink blinked, looking around dazedly. She'd been adrift for some time, and still feeling like she was floating on a cloud. Or thin air. Tink blinked again, turning toward a glass window. The image wasn't familiar, blonde hair and fair skin, pig tails on either side of her head, blue eyes, blue powerpuff girl suit, stumpy little arms and legs with no definite hands, high squeeky voice screaming "NOOOOOOO!" Wait a sec, back up, Tink, your reflection is a... a... a powerpuff girl, and doesn't that scream feel like it's coming from your throat?! /"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"/ Tink screamed, staring into the sky, then suddenly going quiet, /"Ooo, pretty Bunny cloud! And there's a heart-shaped one, and a cloud-shaped one!"/ ================================= Subject: Re: AAE 8: Tooning Around with Tink On Mon, 29 Jul 2002 22:32:37 -0500 Martin and/or Dhyrclhanc Said As CAoL Message # 00010933 >On Mon, 29 Jul 2K2 Mike Knight Said Granted I've only seen one ot two Samurai Jack eps, but I'd have to say that your efforts were a realy good showing of the look and feel of the 'toon. Kudos! > The city of Townsville... and all the Townsville Townie's tongue >are wagging at the recent chaos churned up by the arrival of the >Callahanian Army of Light. As if things weren't complicated enough >around here... > Tink blinked, looking around dazedly. She'd been adrift for some >time, and still feeling like she was floating on a cloud. Or thin >air. Tink blinked again, turning toward a glass window. The image >wasn't familiar, blonde hair and fair skin, pig tails on either side >of her head, blue eyes, blue powerpuff girl suit, stumpy little arms >and legs with no definite hands, high squeeky voice screaming >"NOOOOOOO!" > Wait a sec, back up, Tink, your reflection is a... a... a >powerpuff girl, and doesn't that scream feel like it's coming from >your throat?! > /"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"/ Tink screamed, staring into the sky, then >suddenly going quiet, /"Ooo, pretty Bunny cloud! And there's a >heart-shaped one, and a cloud-shaped one!"/ Dhyrclhanc, still in his human-sized hybrid "Phil Foglio's Winslow/T'Skrang body, gives Bubbles, the PowerPuff he was just speaking with, a double-check. His lens momentarily flares, dying down almost as quickly as it lit up. /Er, Tink? Is that you in there?/ ================================= Subject: Re: AAE 8: Tooning Around with Tink On Tue, 30 Jul 2002 15:48:40 -0400 Mike Knight Said As CAoL Message # 00010934 >On Mon, 29 Jul 2002 22:32:37 -0500 >Martin and/or Dhyrclhanc Said As CAoL Message # 00010933 > > Granted I've only seen one ot two Samurai Jack eps, but I'd >have to say that your efforts were a realy good showing of the look >and feel of the 'toon. Kudos! OOC: As always, thank you! :) >Dhyrclhanc, still in his human-sized hybrid "Phil Foglio's >Winslow/T'Skrang body, gives Bubbles, the PowerPuff he was just >speaking with, a double-check. > >His lens momentarily flares, dying down almost as quickly as it lit >up. > >/Er, Tink? Is that you in there?/ Tinkerbubbles turns to look at the Lens... dragon with wide blue eyes. Suddenly, she shrieks, /"EEEE! Monster!"/ and lashes out with a fist, which stops with the sound of brakes squealing just millimeters from the T'Winslow's beak. /"Uncle? Hey, how come I know you? And why do I have this overwhelming urge to color? Color!"/ The QLed PPG, the who doesn't seem to have complete control of her faculties that is, drops to the sidewalk and pulls a piece of paper and some crayons out of ... somewhere behind her back... and proceeds to start drawing. /"Color color color! And I'll make the grass green, and the sky blue, and the flux ossilation overthrusting capaciter purple, and someone get me outta this kid's head quick! A plot hole should fix our gestalt mentality, reuniting me with my body and leaving Bubbles alone in her own cranium. Yeah, fix us! I don't know all these big words, it took me a week to learn 'Education is the progressive realization of our own ignorance.' Just a week? Shut up! Alright, back to coloring! Yay, colors!"/ Tinkerbubbles rattles off rapidfire, in Bubbles' voice and Tink's mental voice as each personality became briefly dominant, nearly enveloping the other before the tables turn. -- Mike (who's ready to move on, just wanted to toy with Bubbles and Tink trying to share a brain) ================================= Subject: AAE8: Zin Koans (What is the sound of one power ring slapping the baddies around?) On Thu, 1 Aug 2002 14:35:04 -0400 Mike Knight Said As CAoL Message # 00010935 Oh yes, the final paragraph is all that's important to the CAoL, the rest is just my resolution of this plot. (It was four pages long in the word processor, seems a lot to go through for just one paragraph at the end.) Last time on Johnny Quest! >On Thu, 20 Jun 2002 14:55:28 -0400 >Mike Knight Said As CAoL Message # 00010901 > > [Must be on a 707,] Mike mused as he took his seat, [Well, I >suppose my digital offshoot must have had good reason to put me >here.] > "Take this plane to Cuba!" > Mike fired the servo as he said quietly, "You're getting >sleepy." From the look on the hijacker's face, he knew he'd scored a >hit, but he held the eye contact and repeated himself for the benefit >of the other passengers. > "If we don't go to Cuba, I will shoot you three and blow up this >plane," the hijacker threatened, holding up a small remote. > Explosions rocked the jet as the engines exploded. The >passengers screamed as Mike's struggle with the jet got far more >difficult. Pulling back hard on the wheel, he managed to bring the >plane out of a direct dive, but they were still losing altitude. > The 707, smoke trails billowing behind it, continued on its >decent, swampland uncomfortably close below as the altimeter kept >ticking off the feet until the ground. > "C'mon baby, c'mon baby, c'mon baby..." Mike said through >gritted teeth as he tried to will the plane to stop. It did finally >quit rolling, coming to a halt as emergency vehicles rushed out to >the jet. > Race grinned, "Welcome to Miami, Mike, I should have known it'd >be you at the wheel, you handled that landing beautifully. Lemme >introduce you, this is Doctor Benton Quest and his sons, Johnny and >Hadji." > A small bulldog barked at Mike's feet. Race chuckled. > "And this is Bandit." > "Well," Doctor Quest said, "There've been four hijackings now, >all wanting to go to Cuba, all who bailed out, though the first three >were over the Florida Keys." Johnny cheered as he nearly flew across the water behind the hydrofoil. Mike mentally winced, the boy not wearing a life-jacket or any sort of protection from the extremely rapid deceleration should he fall off behind the hydrofoil. [Different era, I know,] he reminded himself, [Still, never would have done that with one of my-] then Mike stopped and winced again, remembering some of the places he'd taken Tink. [Ouch, okay, maybe I would have, with a few more precautions. Besides, the Tooniverse is safer for kids than adults, he'll probably not even get a red mark from striking the water hard if he falls off.] "This is the spot, Race," Doctor Quest told the other man, who slowed the boat down to a stop, then met Johnny and took his skis. Doctor Quest told the boys they could swim or go snorkeling if they wanted, but to stay near the boat, then manned a sonar panel as Mike unpacked some scuba gear. "You're sure you don't want more company down there?" Race asked, pausing in unpacking a couple fishing poles. Mike nodded, slipping the tanks on over his wetsuit. "If anyone asks, you're just here fishing. If I find anything, I'll let you know and we can figure out what to do." "Maybe the hijackers are wanting to visit the Bermuda Triangle?" Hadji joked. Mike grinned, "More likely they've got someone waiting here to pick them up, so I probably won't find anything down there, but I just want to know for certain that I'm at a dead end before I quit investigating." Johnny called, "Hadji, get Bandit and we'll go swimming." "Time I went swimming myself," Mike said, falling backwards off the boat into the sea. "Good luck," Doctor Quest called. A school of orange and black angelfish swam past Mike as he made his descent. An identical school of orange and black angelfish swam past Mike in the opposite direction as he continued to make his descent. That same school of orange and black angelfish swam past Mike from the original direction as he stopped and scowled. [What, the show can't afford three different schools of fish?] A hammerhead shark swam past Mike after the school of fish. [Be careful what you wish for, right,] Mike mused as he continued down toward the sea floor. A light began to be visible here at the sea bottom and Mike swam closer. The light grew brighter as he neared, and now began defining a square built into a rise in the sea bed. [Now there's something you don't see every day, an undersea base.] Mike thought, swimming carefully toward what was now apparently a set of doors. As he got within touching distance of the doors, they opened and a submarine slowly plowed its way out. Mike used that time to make his way carefully inside. Following the tunnel led to an underground cavern. Mike scouted the area with his sense of perception, then surfaced in a secure location away from prying eyes. "Sir, submarine reports that there is a boat on the surface," someone was reporting. "Show me," the man said in an accent that sounded to Mike's ear like a terribly cliche oriental accent. Mike saw a giant screen flicker, then there was a shot of the hydrofoil, Johnny and Hadji inside. Race and Dr. Quest were talking in low tones. Mike realized he'd have to act quickly. He closed his eyes and sent a subliminal message to encourage the Quests to act casually, while suggesting Race leave the area to come back later. On the screen, Race stood and said something to the boys, who cheered and started packing up the fishing gear. As he watched, they drove off. "So, Doctor Quest, we meet again," Zin said, "But this time, I'll have completed my nullifier ray before you can stop me. And with it, I will disable any ships or planes entering the region they call the 'Bermuda Triangle'. Once this test is over, I will give my demands to the world's governments, submit to me, or I will stop all commerce across the globe." [Guh?] Michael Seven thought to himself, [That has to be the most outlandish plan I've heard outside a Pinky and the Brain episode.] "Now, with the theft of the final component I need, the unique properties of the ruby crystal created at New York University, and only briefly delayed in being delivered by the failed hijacking by my men of the New York to Miami flight, I will complete my machine and rule the world." [Well, thanks for handing me everything on a silver platter,] Mike thought, [Time to act.] Mike ran through a mental checklist, [Servo... pocket knife... power ring... mini-lens... wedding ring... validium ring necklace...] Of course, the wedding ring didn't do anything more than show his love for his wife, and the validium statue was universes away and certainly not needed for something as small as this, but he realized belatedly that someone might have taken them while he was out cold earlier at IOU. Thankfully no one knew the significance of those pieces of equipment. [I swear I'm not this dull-witted usually,] Mike mused as he took a bit of the medicine the doctors had given him. [Guess they were right about not running off adventuring. Alright then, keep it simple, stupid, no fancy mental tricks. Easiest way to defeat Zin is stop the sub from picking up the last component, then let Race and the others handle it from there.] [Which means, back into the water,] Slipping back into the water was fairly simple, just retracing his steps. Time was of the essence, he realized, so Mike used the power ring to summon a force field around himself in a shape suitable for moving through the water quickly, then propelled himself toward the undersea exit. Which was closed. Mike slapped himself on the forehead, then yelped in pain as the area he'd hit was still healing from the earlier impact. Cursing himself, he turned to the power ring again and cut a small hole in the door, cooled the edges, slipped through, replaced the hole, then welded the doors shut. [That'll ruin their day.] "The boat is leaving, Captain." "Thank you, ensign, any word from Doctor Zin?" "Zin says we are to continue as planned, sir." The captain nodded, raising the periscope from in front of him. "Proceed to the rendezvous point." "Aye sir." "Where is that submarine Zin promised?" one of the hijackers fumed to his partner, pacing back and forth in the small, stolen launch. The other one smiled, "Here it comes now." Off their bow, the sub surfaced, rising out of the water. A depression large enough to hold their craft caught their boat in a pool of sea water and carried them up along with the rest of the rising submarine. Some deck-hands came out to ensure the craft was centered properly, then the depression, an upper bay on the top of the sub, began losing water as pumps returned it to the ocean, lowering the small boat into the craft. The deck hands leaped in after them, ensuring the boat was kept upright in the hold as the hatch was closed over all their heads. "Captain, craft, crew and cargo secured onboard." "Excellent, return to the undersea base." The captain stumbled as the submarine lurched. Behind the sub, Michael Seven had used his power ring to freeze the water around the propellers of the ship, effectively immobilizing it. Speeding up around to the top, he welded the top hatch shut with a beam of intense heat. He moved around to the torpedo bays and welded those doors closed as well. [Hmm, its a bit heavy handed, but what the heck, this is a cartoon universe, seems only fitting.] A purple ray shot out of the gem on Mike's power ring, creating a large magnet on the end of giant chain. The magnet locked onto the sub, the chain running from it back to Mike's ring as he towed the ship back to the undersea base. On the way, he happened across a large anchor and chain assembly from a shipwreck, which he paused to grab and weld one end of to the bow of the ship, before grabbing the opposite end with the power ring and continuing to tow the ship back to its base. Returning to Zin's undersea lair, Mike welded the other end of the abandoned anchoring chain to the doors of the undersea base. The captain, having had no luck getting his ship working, ordered them to the surface. The chain, however, held the bow underwater, thus the sub surfaced at almost a sixty degree slant. Mike cackled, flying up to remove the ice from the rear propellers and cut them off completely, then called Race and the Quests back to pick him up. [I think I can explain this away as going nuts with a welding torch and leaving quickly before they have too much of a chance to think about it. Maybe conjure up a suitably convincing 60s era submersible with manipulator arms.] After doing that, he called the CAoL, /Hey guys, finally got away from my chores, just need to wrap up a few things here, then I'll check another longshot universe, see if the young'uns are there./ ================================= Subject: AAE8: CG, I On Mon, 5 Aug 2002 15:37:30 -0400 Mike Knight Said As CAoL Message # 00010936 The forces of the planet Fire, lined up into platoons, sent a hailstorm of weapons fire on the forces of the Beast Planet as those same soldiers, oblivious to the effects, barring the occasional strike to the metal-plated generators that sustained their null energy form in this universe, rained down on the armies of Prince Pyros, each shot transporting the unlucky soldier into the realm from which the Beast soldiers were spawned and unsurvivable for any being not made of the same null energy. Into this fierce battle there suddenly came a pair of alien figures, not of any world already represented on the field. They fell from the sky, the explosion of dust and stone on their landing temporarily obscuring the enemy forces from each other. Within the impact crater, however, a fierce battle was also going on, of such heat and intensity that it gave all the surrounding forces momentary pause. David, pinned down by Devon, kicked him off with enough force to toss the other man out of the crater. Scrabbling onto his feet he flew after him a moment later. "Don't think you're getting away, Devon?" "Escape is the furthest thing on my mind," Devon snarled back. Devon lashed out with a lethal psionic blast, fully as powerful as any Arissian or Eddorian. David parried the shot away with shields equal to those self-same masters of mentalism. The reflected energy, visible now as if it were a lightning strike, lashed out into the forces of the beast planet. It cascaded through their ranks, destroying the plates that protected them. The forces of the beast planet were destroyed in that instant. Unfortunately, the forces of Fire were also struck by the energy. Many of that noble and fierce group also fell to the psionic riccochet. Both David and Devon fell to the ground ungracefully. Their battle had been raging across the planet for hours since leaving the Warnerverse. David had, of course, told them he was going to be fine, and thusfar, that was admittedly true, but he had never truely come to blows with his opposite number before. He'd assumed, like it was the case with his father, that if Devon were an alternate, that he, David, would be the more powerful of the two. Such a perfect match had never occurred to him. "Give up yet?" David asked, panting. Devon snorted, "Sure, like, you win, you can have the last chocolate brownie." David gestured with a hand, "Hey, I can keep this up indefinitely, you just looked too winded to continue." "You look rather out of breath yourself." "David!" Bernice's voice called from far above them. As David looked up, thinking desperately, [Keep out of this Bernice, don't get involved or you'll be caught, too.] A few soldiers looked up and fired a few pot shots at her. She swerved and dodged, finally veering off. David stifled a small sigh of relief. The remaining soldiers of Fire surged foreward, yanking the two men roughly to their feet. Both protested, but were too weakened to resist. They were taken to the gates of a city, which opened, then taken from there through town to a palace. "Come on, guys," David quipped, "Can't I at least freshen up before I go meeting royalty?" "Silence!" a soldier shouted at him, shoving him roughly. "I guess he didn't like your joke, either," Devon remarked. "I said 'Silence!'" Within the palace, they were brought before an ancient man of the planet Fire, obviously someone of power, and a young boy seated on a throne just beyond him. "My prince," the ancient man said, leaning on a staff taller than himself, "These two creatures were caught after a beast attack. During the battle with the aliens, these two men appeared in the middle of a cloud of smoke between the two front lines and laid waste to the forces of Fire. When the dust settled, the forces of the Beast planet had vanished, and they were seated before our dead forces. The remaining troops brought them here. The charge is murder, the sentence is death." "Thank you, Vizier," the boy on the throne replied, "You both have been charged with murder, how do you plead?" "Not guilty!" both men said, pointing at the other, "It was him--What!?" "You killed them with that psionic blast!" David shouted at Devon. "-MY- psionic blast?" Devon spluttered, "You were the one who let loose with the blast!" "I blocked the blast is all, you're the one who fired it in the first place!" "ME?! You -GENERATED- that energy all by yourself, I had -nothing- to do with it!" "LIAR!" "LIAR!" "ENOUGH!" the Vizier shouted, "My prince, our troops only saw a single blast between the two men, either one could have generated it or both men could have done it together, and both men are obviously trying to protect themselves at the sake of the other." Prince Pyros tapped a finger on his chin, "Take them both away, put them in the cages for execution. We'll look over the events in detail, but the shouting match will just disrupt things." "Yes, my prince," the Vizier replied, the guards leading the two men away. "I want to see the soldiers who fought in this battle, hear their stories personally. And be sure to keep the guards away from the cages. If they make another of those blasts, we don't want our guards close to them." The Vizier bowed, "Yes, my prince. There is another creature like them on this planet, which I've sent some of the troops out to find. I will bring the rest to you. Shall I recall the search party as well?" The prince shook his head, "No, Vizier. When we're through with the first group of soldiers, we'll send some of them out to replace the ones in the field and talk to the ones who're out now." The Vizier nodded, "Very wise, my prince. Your father would be pleased." He bowed and left the room. Prince Pyros sighed, "This one's nowhere near as easy as the case with Jade." Bernice had lost them. She'd been surprised when both David and Devon had taken flight in the middle of their brawl, even more surprised when they'd moved faster than she could. This wasn't good, this was supposed to be a short fight, but it'd been raging on for hours. Finally, the dust rising from an impact crater caught her eye on the horizon. She saw David there a few moments later, but he was surrounded by strange creatures whose heads seemed to be on fire. Bernice called to David, her arms shifting form into a pair of heavy energy weapons, ready to destroy the 'hot heads', as she'd dubbed them, but a radio transmission held her back. {Hold it, Bernice, don't fire, they're not bad guys.} She blinked. The voice sounded like Michael Seven. From the ground, several blasts of energy came her way. She evaded them while she tried to deal with the other new development to the situation. {Mister Seven? Where are you?} she sent back. {On your left, about a mile away. I know where they're going, don't get involved with what's going on down there, you'll just get captured too.} {But what about David?} {We'll get him out. Trust me. You can do him more good out here than in custody with him.} Bernice finally veered away and headed for the position Michael Seven had given. Landing there, she paused to take in Michael Seven't appearance. "You're not Michael Seven. Who are you?" "Nick, sorry for the deception. But saying I was Michael Seven was simpler than explaining I was a copy of his personality. The soldiers of this planet are taking David to their capital city to face their prince, probably on charges of murder. "They're heading that way," Nick explained, pointing off into the distance, "Which you'll be able to verify as soon as you take off. The capital is on the side of a volcano. David will be held in a cage suspended before a lava flow running down the mountain. That's their method of execution. Considering how the guards were killed, they'll probably keep their distance, but we'll still need to act quickly before they can call reinforcements." Bernice turned away, "Thanks for the information, but there's no 'we'." She activated her jets again and shot off into the air. "Wait! You're going to need help!" "I don't think so," Bernice called back sarcasticly, "I don't know who you are. But if your information's good, I won't come back and kill you. I suggest you don't pull a stunt like this again." Bernice's jets drowned out the shouting behind her. David and Devon, in separate cages, watched the guard changing. About 15 minutes early this time, David reckoned. They'd regained their strength in the interim, but used it up again fighting. It was getting to be a ritual. As soon as Devon got enough energy to throw a psionic bolt, he would, which David would block with a psionic shield. After the old guard left, the new one approached the cages. "Better stay back," David cautioned. "No, let the brave guard come foreward," Devon said, "We--what the?!" David had just sensed it too, the lack of a mental signature around the guard. The guard's body shimmered, then reformed. "Dad?" David asked, incredulous. "Papa?" Devon inquired at the same moment. David and Devon stared at each other. "No," Nick replied, "I'm not your father. Ready to go?" Both men narrowed their eyes. Devon replied, "Yes." David said nothing. Nick walked slowly toward the cages, manning a lever that pulled them from their position over the drop made by the falls to where he could get at them, "I'm a new recruit, working for your father. The name's Nick." Devon nodded, "I suspected as much." Nick nodded, turning to David's cage, "Bet you weren't expecting this." He opened the door. "C'mon David, time to leave." David blinked, standing up and hopping out of the cage, "You were looking for information about his father?" Nick nodded, "From what you told me when your friend Anna died[1], I gathered that Devon's father had an alternate version of himself in his employ. I wanted to know if there were others, so I attempted to play the part of a new recruit. You know I don't hire alternates of myself, and he was accepting of the idea that his father might send another version of himself to rescue him rather than come himself, so I presumed that if he saw an unfamiliar incarnation of me, he'd take it for granted that it was on his side." Devon smiled, clapping slowly, "Very well played, Mister Seven. But I suspected that as well. No matter, the information wasn't terribly secret amongst you clan. Verifying that particular speculation won't do you much good." "It tells me who we're fighting," Nick replied. Devon nods, "My point exactly." He pressed a stud on his cuff, "I've had enough of this tooniverse. Have your fun while you can, David, I'll be waiting for you on the outside." A fireball exploded within Devon's cage and when it burned away, he was gone. "Now," David asked, "Who are you really? Dad wouldn't send a hologram to save me." Nick nodded, "I'm exactly who I said I was. But, by way of explanation, do the names 'Bryce Lynch' and 'Edmund Blackadder' ring a bell?" "Oh, I see, you were Max Headroomed and given a holoemitter." Nick nodded, "Better than having me running amuck in the compus computer. Think you can do something about that chain over there? I need it to look like it broke from age and let the cages fall into the lava." David thought about it, then did it mentally. He was breathing hard as he finished forcing the metal to age far more rapidly than it ought to have done. The chain snapped and the cages fell, sinking into the depths of the magma. "Let's not tell Dad I can do that." Nick nodded, "Consider it a secret between you and your uncle Nick. Like I told your dad, if you guys need anything, don't hesitate to call." David nodded, "I had been wondering how you felt about all of us." "Kinda like I got to enjoy and get to know you all on TV, but am just now meeting you face to face. Anyway, I'll handle the guard here, the new one should be along any minute. You get back to looking for the Phoenix kids." David nodded, "Thanks again, Nick. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to call on us, either." The sound of jets drew both their attentions skyward as Bernice dropped in finally. "David, you're alright!" She glared at Nick, "I thought I left you back in the lava fields." "Bernice, this is Nick. He's a clone of my dad, kinda like the way you were made." "I still don't trust him." "This was just a bad place to meet," Nick says, "Michael Seven can verify all of this when you see him next." David nodded, "I'm sure he will. Every once in a while something really weird usually happens to Dad. With Illuminati University involved, the weirdness just goes up. Anyway, Bernice, time to go." David and Bernice vanished through a dimensional portal David created, and Nick took on the form of the guard he just replaced to call the other guards, shouting the chain snapped. As everyone within earshot flooded out to the cliffside off of which the cages had been suspended, Nick quietly vanished in a transporter effect. [Someone's going to get in trouble for that, but probably less trouble than if they found me here.] ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: CG, I On Mon, 5 Aug 2002 16:46:43 -0400 Mike Knight Said As CAoL Message # 00010937 >On Mon, 5 Aug 2002 15:37:30 -0400 >Mike Knight Said As CAoL Message # 00010936 > > Nick nodded, "From what you told me when your friend Anna >died[1], I gathered that Devon's father had an alternate version of >himself in his employ. I wanted to know if there were others, so I >attempted to play the part of a new recruit. You know I don't hire >alternates of myself, and he was accepting of the idea that his >father might send another version of himself to rescue him rather >than come himself, so I presumed that if he saw an unfamiliar >incarnation of me, he'd take it for granted that it was on his side." OOC: Whoops, that should be Anstice, not Anna. And I forgot the footnote, which is below. [1]Anstice is the character I've never gotten around to writing for. Short version of the story is she was an old friend of David's who had a crush on him. When he politely bowed out of any further relationship, she attempted to find someone else in the universe like him. She found Devon instead. After escaping from Devon, who wasn't too thrilled to find he had a counterpart in the universe, she found David again. David prompted her to go somewhere beyond both his and Devon's reach for her own sake and safety, then turned to paying back Devon for hurting a friend of his. After doing so, he went home to think, then decided to go have a drink and wound up in Callahan's at the start of AAE 8. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE 8: Tooning Around with Tink On Fri, 9 Aug 2002 22:08:59 -0500 Martin and/or Dhyrclhanc Said As CAoL Message # 00010938 >On Tue, 30 Jul 2K2, Mike Knight Said >>Martin and/or Dhyrclhanc Said >> >>Dhyrclhanc, still in his human-sized hybrid "Phil Foglio's >>Winslow/T'Skrang body, gives Bubbles, the PowerPuff he was just >>speaking with, a double-check. >> >>His lens momentarily flares, dying down almost as quickly as it lit >>up. >> >>/Er, Tink? Is that you in there?/ > > Tinkerbubbles turns to look at the Lens... dragon with wide blue >eyes. > Suddenly, she shrieks, /"EEEE! Monster!"/ and lashes out with a >fist, which stops with the sound of brakes squealing just millimeters >from the T'Winslow's beak. I'd include more but I'll make this as brief as possible. Some clairificaton about who and what "Winslow" is exactly, appears to be needed, especially for those not familiar with the works of Phil Foglio (pronounced: "Folio"), like "Buck Godot", and his "What's New" strips for "Scrye" and "Dragon" gaming magazines. To quote Ms. Kaja Foglio, Phil's wife, "Winslow is actually an old stuffed animal that Phil rescued from the trash back in Chicago. He was a mess and has no eyes, so Phil cleaned him up and added cartoon felt eyes. Winslow was the unofficial mascot of Moebius Theater for the years that Phil was a part of the group and was named after the looser in the movie "Phantom of the Paradise". I will add that although Phil never knew where Winslow came from, I did. He was an old carnival prize. I used to have one like him and a snake to match. I wish that I still did... we could have the "Bride of Winslow" (And, um -- "Snake Pal of Winslow"? Nah, Nevermind.) FTR, Winslow was the fourth most common element in Phil's "What's New" strips done for the "Dragon", only the cartoon Phil and Dixie, and that annoying minauture purple dragon that multiplied when it got wet were used more. These strips are thankfully and currently available in anthologized form from Phil's current business enterprise (www.studiofoglio.com). You can also see him on the cover of the current issue of Phil's "Buck Godot" comic book, available in fine retail gaming outlets near you. FWIW, for those of us lucky enough to currently possess the second book of the three volume "What's New" anthology, Dhyrclhanc currently looks pretty much like Winslow does (did?) in Phil's, by now infamous, strip about Four-Color Super Hero RPGs. Or, as Kaja says in her footnote of same, "... should we say _Captain Winslow_ in this case (He _is_ wearing a captain's hat... )" He's the vaguely reptilian looking chap in the three panels with Hazardman and the aptly named "Captain Radio" > /"Uncle? Hey, how come I know you? And why do I have this >overwhelming urge to color? Color!"/ The QLed PPG, the who doesn't >seem to have complete control of her faculties that is, drops to the >sidewalk and pulls a piece of paper and some crayons out of... >somewhere behind her back... and proceeds to start drawing. > > /"Color color color! And I'll make the grass green, and the sky >blue, and the flux ossilation overthrusting capaciter purple, and >someone get me outta this kid's head quick! A plot hole should fix >our gestalt mentality, reuniting me with my body and leaving Bubbles >alone in her own cranium. Yeah, fix us! I don't know all these big >words, it took me a week to learn 'Education is the progressive >realization of our own ignorance.' Just a week? Shut up! Alright, >back to coloring! Yay, colors!"/ Tinkerbubbles rattles off rapidfire, >in Bubbles' voice and Tink's mental voice as each personality became >briefly dominant, nearly enveloping the other before the tables turn. > >-- Mike (who's ready to move on, just wanted to toy with Bubbles and >Tink trying to share a brain) OK Mike, in the interest of wrapping this up ASAP, Dhyrclhanc is going to do a quick sensor sweep with his Rigilian-esque "Sense of Perception", say at Interstellar range. Will/Would he find Tink's body? ================================= Subject: Re: AAE 8: Tooning Around with Tink On Sat, 10 Aug 2002 01:46:24 -0400 Mike Knight Said As CAoL Message # 00010939 >On Fri, 9 Aug 2002 22:08:59 -0500 >Martin and/or Dhyrclhanc Said As CAoL Message # 00010938 > > >I'd include more but I'll make this as brief as possible. Some >clairificaton about who and what "Winslow" is exactly, appears to be >needed, especially for those not familiar with the works of Phil >Foglio (pronounced: "Folio"), like "Buck Godot", and his "What's New" >strips for "Scrye" and "Dragon" gaming magazines. > OOC: I"ve seen him online, little stuffed lizard looking thing, no hands or feet. Quite cute, until you stick a pteradon/humanoid in the mix and make it taller than she is. Remember, PPG universe monsters aren't much more detailed, just bigger. Vaguely lizard-like, pointy teeth, "talking", you get the idea. Sides, neither are right in the head right now. > >OK Mike, in the interest of wrapping this up ASAP, Dhyrclhanc is >going to do a quick sensor sweep with his Rigilian-esque "Sense of >Perception", say at Interstellar range. Will/Would he find Tink's >body? > OOC: Tink's body is nowhere to be found in the PPG universe. /"Every stinkin' time I come too far into the tooniverse, I get stuck in some little kid's body. Just cause I got assimilated as a kid and it took a few years to get the implants out, or cause it was just you guys and Grumpa, doesn't mean I had a rotten childhood in the meantime. I was just precocious, but oh no, I gotta have a better childhood experience than I did growing up. So I'm stuck here-"/ Tink grumbles, then finishes the sentence gleefully, /"Coloring! Color color color color color! And I'll draw a pretty yellow flower here, and a puffy white cloud up here, and a brown horsie here..."/ =================================