Should’ve known this would happen.

So, if you’ve been following this blog the past few months (and if you have, wow, I’m kind of surprised, given how little I’ve done with it lately), you’ll know I’ve been having an existential crisis with regards to podcasting. See the most recent post for where I was at prior to writing this one.

So, anyway, after much consternation, I came to a decision; I have a fair amount going on right now but I figured that once this class my Mom has me taking (which I expect to do well at but still not get the certificate at the end because after 2 months I’ve only just now gotten my typing skills up into the average of 0 AWPM (after having been -8 AWPM for awhile)), I could start the process of bringing Gilmore Girls Re-watch and Singular Achievement Phenomenon back. And maybe, just maybe, even look into starting up The Casting Game again. There, after all, did seem to be SOME demand for it, and hey, I’m in good with a handful of D-list Internet celebrities (still higher ranking than I ever was), maybe I could parlay that into something to help boost the shows.

While this was going on, I was going through the process of renewing my food stamp benefits because, you know, I can’t really do a show if I can’t eat, and my family out here in Cali, not being vegan, can only share so much in a pinch. I filled out all the forms, did the phone interview, did the stuff on the website, and was told I could expect my deposits to continue. I think you can see where this is going.

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So yeah, the deposit due today? Didn’t come. So I called. And after being kept on hold for about an hour was told I never sent in the “Rights & Responsibilities form.” Just that one, out of ALL the others. That’s quite the feat given I sent them all IN THE SAME GODDAMN ENVELOPE AS THE FORMS THEY DID GET! Oh, and they claimed to have sent me a notice that my case was discontinued. I never got one. I went through all my mail going back to August (they claim to have sent it on September 26th, and I live down the fucking street from the county office). Never got it. Oh, the lady said she’d send an e-mail telling them to look for it again, but if they can’t find it I’ll have to refile, which is a process that could take up to another week at least, a week in which I have no fucking food (at least this happened in one of the months where I’d managed to not run out of food until the last day, unlike some other times where due to misjudgment I ran out a week before the next deposit, which is always embarrassing).

So yeah, I decide to at least try to get back into podcasting, BOOM. Less than 24 hours later, facing starvation since I can’t get a job (seriously, the only places I’ve even had a shot at lately would’ve required me to move, which I can’t afford, or were so far away even my Mom told me the transit time wasn’t worth it) and don’t know if this whole mess with San Bernadino SNAP benefits will be resolved. And with my relatives not being vegan that only makes this harder. Sure, they could offer me some leftover stuff of theirs, and I know they’d do so gladly because they love me, but what they would be offering 9 times out of 10 would have cheese in it.

Well, you know what universe, I can take the fucking hint. I am cancelling my return. And on top of that, even though I was already doing a bad job of it, I’m not going to bother fixing all the broken links to my old episodes either. Because what is the point? To the 20+ people who took part in the poll last month, I’m sorry I wasted your time. I know there are few things as horrible as false hope, even for something as cosmically insignificant as podcasting. Podcasts and podcasting is a thing that brought me joy for a good 7 years. I guess given all that’s happened, that was 1 year too many as far as the universe was concerned.

So in essence, even if this mistake (read: incompetence) on the part of the county gets fixed, expect this to be my last post on the page. One way or another, this is the end of Arkle Studios. Well, no, that’s the wrong way to put it. I ended Arkle Studios back in February. It’s been dead for months. Today I’m just finally getting around to burying the corpse. And if Arkle himself goes with it, at least I was able to stick to the vegan thing. One of the few things in my life I can honestly say I’m proud of.

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